If your dentist inserted fake boar's tusks into your mouth while you're unconscious, under anesthetics, you might be a little peeved, eh? When Dr. Robert Woo, in Auburn, WA, worked on his assistant, he thought he'd have a little chuckle. His employee, Tina Alberts, raised potbelly pigs, and frequently spoke of them at work. So naturally Woo thought he should implant boar's tusks while she was under anesthetic for, as the Associated Press puts it, "a different procedure." (You mean she didn't ask for pig's teeth?)

As Woo's attorney puts it, Woo was simply trying to foster "a friendly working environment." Anyway, Woo inserted the tusks, propped Alberts' eyes open, took photos, removed the tusks, and continued the work. Alberts was none the wiser, until other employees showed her the pictures at a birthday party.

And that's where it gets weird. Alberts sues; Woo's insurance company refuses to cover his hijinks (after all, they said, this wasn't regular dental work!); Woo settles out of court with Alberts, paying her $250k; Woo sues insurance company; Woo wins; insurance company appeals, and wins. Woo goes to the Washington Supreme Court...and wins!

According to Associated Press, Supreme Court Justice Mary Fairhurst claimed that inserting the boar's tusks was "an integral, if odd, part of the assistant's dental surgery." Wow, the law is truly an ass...er, pig. The insurance company now has to pay $750,000 to Woo.

Of course, if I were the insurance company I'd start wondering if everyone was in on this from the start! The assistant makes $1/4M, the dentist makes $1/2M, and everybody's happy! Except, of course, the insurance company...

Associated Press Story at Salon.com

Posted by legalview at 03:31 PM | Permalink

Two German teenagers who robbed a girl have been caught as a result of their own stupidity. After stealing the girl's shoes, money, and cell phone, the two teenagers gave the girl an old cell phone of their own. However, the teenagers forgot that the cell phone had pictures of themselves on it. The police published the photos online in an effort to find the girl.

Muggers Leave Their Own Pictures Behind

The two muggers turned themselves in almost immediately after the pictures aired. Police spokesman Frank Plewka said that "one girl was brought down by her father after he saw her on the television. Today the pictures were in the papaes so the father's phone has been ringing all day, because everyone recognized them." Neither of the teenagers had been in trouble with the law before.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 08:03 PM | Permalink

A suicidal man who went into a gun shop wielding a knife in the hope that he'd be fatally shot failed at his mission. Instead, police pepper sprayed the man and then used a taser gun. A worker at the gun shop, Bruce Motley, said of the intruder: "he was trying to find this shop because he wanted to get shot and we tried to explain to him that we don't go around shooting people."

Knife Wielding Man Arrested

Last year the store was the victim of an intruder. That man, Ricky Beckham, entered the store with a machete. Beckham was shot in the stomach by Greg Carvell, the co-owner of the store. Beckham survived his injuries and is serving a two year, nine month jail sentence.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 07:40 PM | Permalink

Alex Joshua Horn, 19, and Johnathan Anthony Porche, 19, from Bayou Black, Louisiana, were jailed on Wednesday on charges of shoplifting and possessing materials to make a bomb. The two were discovered when one of the boys flicked cigarette ash near an open bottle containing stolen gunpowder. The gunpowder exploded.

Teen's Cigarette Sets Off Stolen Powder

Wal-Mart employees had called the sheriff's office earlier in the day, saying that three teenagers had been inquiring about gunpowder and PVC pipe. Later in the evening, police officers were called to a house where they found damage from an explosion in the kitchen and dining room. The boys told investigators that Porche's cigarette had ignited a bottle of stolen gunpowder.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 11:04 AM | Permalink

Nicholas Forster, 35, was trapped in security grills at a house he was trying to burglarize. Firemen had to spend 30 minutes freeing Forster from the window so that he could be arrested by the waiting police officers.

Burglar Caught in Window

A witness said that Forster was "so embarrassed he wouldn't even lift his head to face the firemen. He was with his girlfriend- and she claimed he was trying to retrieve his watch that she'd thrown through the window." Forster and his girlfriend, Natalie Leach, 24, both have been charged with burglary.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 02:01 PM | Permalink

Things just seem to go from bad to worse for Phil Spector. First he's accused of killing a lady guest -- really, Phil, gun play is all very well, but you can take it too far; a bullet through the mouth would be considered by most people as "too far."

Anyway, now we hear that as far back as 1993, according to the prosecutor, Spector had "a misogynistic state of mind." How did he express that? Well, according to a retired New York City cop, Vincent Tannazzo, who provided security for a couple of Christmas parties hosted by comedian Joan Rivers, he ejected Spector from both parties. Yes, you heard that right, both parties...a year apart.

At the first party he had to warn Spector not to go for his gun, which was tucked into his waistband (that's where my friends generally keep that guns when I'm hosting events, too). Tannazzo also claimed that "Spector repeatedly uttered an obscene phrase referring to women and said to him, "These (expletive). They all deserve a bullet in their head."

CNN

Posted by legalview at 01:07 PM | Permalink

Come on, you can't be serious! You broke into this lady's house, you stole various bits and pieces, then you left...and left behind your What?! Your keys?!

Well, I guess that ain't so bad, you bonehead. Huh? What do you mean there's more? You left what behind! A computer disk? Okay, go on? There's what on the disk! Your...your...your resume!!!!?

So the cops call you, tell you they've found your keys, and you say Sure, you'll be home when they come by to drop them off, huh? And you're wearing the lady's earings when they arrive?!

NY Post

Posted by legalview at 12:44 PM | Permalink

We've all heard that talking on your cell phone while driving can be a bad idea...many areas have even passed laws banning it. Sometimes, though, it's a good idea to state the obvious, so here we go...

You really should not send text message on your cell phone while driving. Oh, and just to cover all bases, you shouldn't watch videos or surf the Web while driving. Now, this may seem obvious to you and me...but apparently not so obvious to Jenna R. Meyers, of Arizona, who managed to hit a patrol car while texting. Which raises another issue. If you do use your cell phone while driving--for whatever reason--and thus get into an accident, at least try to hit something other than a police car!

Still, Jenna may have had good reason for her actions; the officers at the scene, according to the Arizona Republic, "believe impairment was a factor." She was clearly impaired by staring at her cell-phone screen, so beyond stating the obvious that's probably a euphemism for "she was stoned/drunk/otherwise intoxicated." If that's the case, then she had a perfect excuse.

Arizona Republic

Posted by legalview at 12:24 PM | Permalink

Philadelphia Inquirer foods critic Craig LaBan is being sued for libel for describing a $15 piece of beef as "miserably tough and fatty." The lawsuit is worrisome for LaBan because he is being asked to give a deposition on camera; if this occurs, LaBan's face would become known to all the city's restaurant owners. Attorneys for LaBan say a video deposition would be cruel. "Mr. LaBan's anonymity is important to the process by which he reviews restaurants," say LaBan's lawyers in court papers. "If a restaurant knew Mr. LaBan was in its dining room, it might put on a show for him that would not be provided to the general dining public."

Lawsuit Could Unmask Restaurant Critic

LaBan's lawsuit-provoking review of the restaurant Chops, reads, in part, "a recent meal, though, was expensive and disappointing, from the soggy and sour chopped salad to a miserably tough and fatty strip steak. The crab cake, though, was excellent." Alex Plotkin, the owner of the restaurant, says that LaBan didn't eat a strip steak, but had a steak sandwich without bread and says "no legitimate food critic would ever mistake, or compare, a steak sandwich with a strip steak."

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 12:20 PM | Permalink

So maybe not everyone these days understands how all our new fangled technology works. Security video cameras film things, then magically transmit the pictures along wires into the building, where they are recorded. So, if, like this dumb thief from Oklahoma City, you plan to steal video cameras while they are operating, you might consider covering your face...

http://www.ksbitv.com/home/8194142.html

Posted by legalview at 05:19 PM | Permalink

What was socialite Paris Hilton thinking when she told Larry King that she never had done drugs in her first interview after being released from jail for charges of drunk driving? Hilton apparently has forgotten about the marijuana, hashish, mushrooms, and Quaaludes that she has been seen with in home videos.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 10:32 PM | Permalink

Peter Akers, 6, was recently mailed a letter by police asking that he confess being a career criminal. Akers was asked to admit any unsolved crimes so that he could have a "fresh start" and he also was offered treatment for drug addiction. Police say the letter was sent by mistake.

Confess, you're a 'career criminal', police tell boy aged six

Peter's letter read in part: "We are giving the opportunity for you to come forward and notify us of any offenses you have committed but have never been dealt with." Peter says the only crime he is able to recall committing is stealing candy from his nine-year-old sister. Peter's mother, Christine, says she was "going to take [Peter] to the police station to see if they could get him to confess to not tidying his room the night before."

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 09:29 PM | Permalink

Two Wendy's employees have been charged with trying to steal money from Wendy's in Manchester, New Hampshire. Coincidentally, one of the thieves is named Ronald MacDonald, no relation to Ronald McDonald, the clown that has come to symbolize McDonald's fast food empire.

Ronald MacDonald Charged With Robbing Wendy's

Ronald MacDonald, 22, has been charged with theft after the manager of the Wendy's called police to say that he found MacDonald and Steve Lemay, 20, stealing money from the safe.

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Posted by Patricia Bowling at 08:53 PM | Permalink