 |
 |
« October 2007 | Main | December 2007 »
In New South Wales, the following items have gone missing from the Police Department over the year 2006/2007:
six sets of handcuffs
11 cans of capsicum spray
40 portable radios
three police radios
uniform caps, jackets and rain suits
14 bulletproof vests
a police car
They're either planning a good night out or a re-enactment of Hot Fuzz.
Matthew St Pierre was arrested for impaired driving last Saturday. Thing is, the vehicle he was driving wasn't his; it is described as belonging to his 'close friend.' So close was this friend that St Pierre had taken the truck without asking his permission. He also seemed to think that the friend would be prepared to take the rap for him - well he must have thought that because when asked for his personal details he used his friend's name. Police were satisfied and St Pierre was released.
Chickens always come home to roost, though, and St Pierre was re-arrested at his workplace. He appeared at a bail hearing Tuesday facing several charges, including: impaired driving; impersonation with intent to gain advantage; attempting to obstruct or resist a peace officer; taking a motor vehicle without consent; driving while under suspension; and driving a motor vehicle with an open container of liquor.
Friends like that, we can do without.
Police in Berlin have reported that, during a German church service, thieves crept into the church and stole a 300-year-old Bible worth around $7,366. They also emptied a collection box.
They should have just emptied the collection box and used the cash to buy a new Bible, rather than make do with a fusty old one.
In Russia, a mugger stole the cake from a woman's bag as she walked by, then asked her to call the police so that he could go back to prison.
It was discovered that the mugger had just completed a 12 year sentence and wanted to return to jail. He stands to get three years for stealing the cake.
The report says that motive for the theft is unclear - it's obvious, jail food was better than the woman's cooking.
Alexander D. Smith, of Augusta, Georgia, has been charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of forgery after attempting to open a bank account with a fake $1 million bill. When the teller refused to open an account and called the police, the million dollar man started cursing at the bank employees.
Later, investigators learned Smith had bought several cartons of cigarettes from a nearby grocery store with a stolen check. Flushed with his success, he attempted to commit a similar crime the following day but, on this occasion, the store manager refused to accept the check.
Apparently, Smith isn't the only million dollar idiot; in Pittsburgh last month a man shopping at a grocery store tried to pass a $1 million bill to a cashier, but the employee also refused the bill and a manager confiscated the bogus bill. Just like Smith, this man also flew into a rage and was arrested.
They should have checked their history books first - the US Treasury have never issued a million dollar bill.
Diexia Wang, a student at the University of Pennsylvania has been charged with burglary, criminal trespass, harassment, and theft, after allegedly stealing underwear and purses from a number of women. There are also allegations that he stalked a woman who lived in one of the University residences.
If ever there was an apt name for a knicker nicker, Wang has to be it.
In Fond du Lac, a 36 year old man pulled a knife on another man who was unloading groceries outside his home. The knife-wielding man asked for money and attempted to punch his victim. Fortunately, somebody pulled the mugger away. Not really news is it?
But, the mugger returned later and apologized, saying that he had mistaken his victim for somebody else.
Oh, well that's okay then. Simple case of mistaken identity; no harm done.
The mugger - sorry, the would-be mugger - was held in the Fond du Lac County Jail on a tentative charge of use of a dangerous weapon.
A loving Danish couple were told by police to take their passion home to bed on Monday when, perhaps in an effort to keep warm, they engaged in passionate lovemaking in a train station waiting room. It may have kept them warm but everybody else was left out in the cold, too embarrassed to enter the steamy waiting room.
Because they kept their clothes on, they were not charged with indecency. I don't know about you but I've had some of my most indecent experiences with my clothes on.
An argument in a care home car park erupted when a driver wanted to park in front of the entrance but was blocked by a driver who had already parked there to drop off his mother. The contretemps continued until the second man threw a can of gravy at the first man. The man on the receiving end was not seriously injured and no charges were pressed.
If I had been on the receiving end, I'd have had the giblets of the can thrower to go with the gravy.
Just a short one today -
The case against a convicted sex offender accused of abducting a 17-year-old girl was dismissed this week after the teen admitted she lied about her two-week disappearance. The sex offender's name? Pheuk Kue.
I need say no more.
In Thailand everything stops for the national anthem, which is played twice daily - at 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. The anthem is played on loudspeakers in train stations, parks and office buildings and most people stop what they're doing - except motorists.
A group of retired and active duty generals, who are part of the army-appointed parliament, are seeking to boost patriotism by ruling that motorists should also stop what they're doing, that is, driving. In support of the bill, which is designed to "preserve tradition and instill patriotism," retired General and NLA member Pricha Rochanasena is quoted as saying, "The national anthem lasts only one minute and eight seconds, so why can't motorists stop their cars for the sake of the country?"
They really haven't thought this one through, have they.
"Sandy Wong gets turned on by expensive and classic cars, motorcycles and women with big feet and really likes to expose himself in public." So says journalist, TONY BLAIS, of the Edmonton Sun News. And, because I couldn't put it better myself, I haven't even tried.
Blais was writing about Mr Sandy Wong, who was seen checking out three BMW's on the company's stand at the Home and Garden Show. Having checked out the three cars, he was then spotted sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000. His sweat pants were round his ankles and he had his legs dangled over the driver's door window. He was masturbating.
Wong was detained by security until police showed up and a clean-up crew had to wash down the BMW.
Maybe BMW's don't always come first after all.
"When the light turns green, you're supposed to go and I did." Nothing wrong with that is there, I mean, we'd all do the same, wouldn't we? Read on and decide for yourself.
Seventy-five year old Paul D Keith saw nothing wrong with driving on when the lights turned green, even though there was a stationary car in front of him. "He didn't move, so I drove into the back of him," he explained.
Keith was charged with operating under the influence of alcohol, third offense, after demolishing his front-end on Fountain Street, then telling police the driver ahead didn't know how to play red light, green light. He sustained a minor head injury in the collision. Perhaps it drove a bit of sense into him.
When German police helped a frightened girlfriend to collect her belongings from her ex-boyfriends apartment, they got more than they bargained for. The man's dog had banned Nazi symbols shaved into its fur - namely, a swastika and the SS insignia of Hitlere's Waffen-SS troops.
Public display of Nazi symbols is illegal in Germany so, if the dog has not been out of the apartment, no law has been broken. If, however, the dog has been taken out of the apartment bearing the symbols, the man faces a three year jail term.
Maybe it's all a fuss about nothing - perhaps he'd been drinking and was just taking a Herr of the dog
Two teenagers who wanted to earn some money going door-to-door selling have been charged with marijuana possession. One of the boys also was charged driving on a suspended license and minor in possession of alcohol.
The clue was the smell of marijuana that hung around Garrett St. Cyr when he went to apply for the requisite license. Officers went outside to to talk to his companion, Joshua Kephart, after a computer check and a surveillance video showed he'd driven St. Cyr on a suspended license.
On wonders what they wanted to sell door-to-door!
26-year-old Ardonas Gilbert, was running naked along the southbound lanes of Interstate 95 on Monday night, but cursed and punched those who tried to help him. He then ran into traffic, causing three separate accidents as motorists tried to avoid him. Nobody was seriously hurt, police have said.
Can you imagine how this poor boy must have felt once he sobered up? There but for the grace of God......
Peter W. Mischler is boss in his own home, he's a real man. So, when his wife refused to bring home the beer, he shot one of the family's goats.
Yup, that's macho.
New Yorker, MIlna Dravnel, has sued Olympic boxer Oscar de la Hoya for $100 million, claiming she was coerced into agreeing not to sell photographs of him dancing around a hotel room in women's clothing. Although she has already sold some of the images to a Hollywood photo agency for $70,000 - which is apparently below market value.
Okay, we're all having a laugh at the thought of Mr Macho prancing around in fishnet stockings and a ballet tutu - but who's gonna mention it to him first?
Form an orderly queue.
Police in Fayetteville are looking for a a male bank robber who left behind a suspicious package when he robbed the Omni National Bank.
When last seen, he was wearing a strawberry blond wig, white pants, white sweater and was carrying a messenger style bag. Police think he may have got away on a bicycle.
I've seen the photo - somebody should tell him that strawberry blond really doesn't suit his skin tone.
Actually, I had a bit of a dilemma on this one - it could have come under Dumb Justice as well! There aren't many things in life worse than a bent copper, but a crooked lawyer comes close. Especially one who feasts on churches and non-profit organizations.
Let me introduce you to Phillip Radmer. Radmer is a disbarred attorney who created phony corporations with fictitious board members in order to steal property.
Radmer created dozens of phony corporations and individuals and entered into a series of fraudulent real estate deals on 60 vacant lots - the scam netted him $655,000.
Assistant Cook County State's Atty. William Merritt called Radmer a "backward Robin Hood."
For Sale: One previous honest owner - and it wasn't Radmer.
At Wakefield High Security prison, in North East England, the officers on night duty have taken to wearing soft-soled shoes so as not to disturb the inmates beauty sleep. This follows complaints by some inmates about the noise made by boots on the slate landings.
However, Glyn Travis, a Prison Officers' Association spokesman said the approach also had security benefits. Because the soft shoes allows prison officers to patrol the prison landings without being detected, the theory is they are more likely to discover unwanted and illegal activities.
They've probably still got steel to-caps in 'em - I mean, would you want to get embroiled in a fight with a prisoner found indulging in illegal activities with your slippers on?
A Thai air force pilot has been suspended from flying duties after allegedly landing his helicopter in the countryside to collect wild mushrooms for his mother. He faces punishment for abandoning his helicopter without anyone to look after it and also for violating other rules.
Ah, what a good boy; his mom must be so proud of him! My boys don't even bring me flowers on Mothers' Day. I bet he keeps his room clean too.
Winnipeg police were called shortly before 6 p.m. on March 26 when a woman spotted a man breaking into her garage. The man left the garage a short time later and moved on to a neighbor's garage, where he stole a lawn mower, a mountain bike, a blanket and a stuffed toy dog. The man eventually returned to the first garage, where police found him nearly two hours later passed out inside a boat.
Crown attorney, John Peden, said, "He was lying there with his genitalia exposed next to the stuffed dog and,while the police report doesn't describe it this way, the dog might be appropriately characterized as now being anatomically correct, as opposed to its condition before he removed it."
The report doesn't tell us whether the toy dog was male or female. It is, however, definitely stuffed. A stiff penalty called for I think, whether the bitch was asking for it or not.
Scott Schmitz is accused of breaking into Buggy Bath Car Wash in Fond du Lac last week and stealing 5,619 quarters. That's $1,400 to you and me. He also stole $1,000 in bills from cash machines at the business. Apparently Schmitz had a grudge against the company. Okay so far, nothing dumb there. BUT
Over the following week, Schmitz, who is out of work, bought a car and was seen purchasing items using only quarters.
Now, see, that was dumb.
It was just one of those days, you know those days when things start bad and just get worse.
Darren Swanson was shot in the face by strangers and drove himself, at speed, to the local hospital. Once there, he didn't stop the car but just drove right on in to the ER, demolishing a door in the process.
His gunshot wound was treated and the twenty-one year old was noted to be in 'fair' condition. Unfortunately for our Darren, though, when police checked out his trashed car they discovered a bag of marijuana and charged the poor boy with possession.
I suspect his momma told him there'd be days like that. I suspect she warned him that drugs are bad for your health too. Always listen to momma!
One of a group of three robbers who netted $350 plus jewelery from a home in Port Jefferson has been arrested in the ER after accidentally shooting himself in the arm. A member of the hospital staff reported the man and his bullet wound to police, who reported the felon as being uncooperative and evasive. Well he would be wouldn't he - after all after a gaffe like that he wouldn't want to shoot his mouth off.
Armed but not very dangerous.
Gerald A. Rocchi flashed his chrome stapler at an employee of The Ice Cream Shop in Ashland, Kentucky, and demanded money. Employees handed over $175 cash, which was soon recovered from the robber's house, along with the stapler and a ski mask.
There was confusion over whether Rocchi intended to shoot employees with staples or use the stapler itself as a blunt instrument. and. to give him due credit, from a distance and in a dim light the stapler could have been mistaken for a gun.
I suspect he intended to shout, "Bang, Bang, you're dead," as he bombarded the employees with staples.
An undercover cop in Penang, Malaysia, was mistaken for a robber and held hostage by a 200 strong public crowd.
The cop was attempting to confiscate pornographic videos and DVD's from two peddlers when the crowd decided he was a robber and called the police. It was an hour before his fellow officers arrived and freed him, during which time the two porn peddlers escaped.
Hmm - if the cap fits...
Sheriff Winston Peterson of South Georgia thought that felons should pay for their crimes - literally. He charged inmates of his jail $18 per day for room and board. $27,000 is to be repaid to hundreds of inmates who paid the fees between 2000 and 2004
Peterson has pleaded not guilty and been released on $10,000 bond.
Not so dumb justice, eh?
A woman in Cyprus is on trial for sorcery after pledging to shake off a curse apparently plaguing a man's relationship with his wife and mother-in-law.
The ingredients for her spell included: an egg, a spoon, a nail, some pubic hairs and underpants. The egg was to be cracked into the underpants and worn by the accursed husband.
Surely, the wrong person is being sued. The husband should be up before the judge charged with stupidity.
Former CIA employee, George Charles Dalmas III , liked ladies panties. He liked other stuff as well but, most of all, he liked panties. In fact, he liked them so much that between October 2005 and January 2006 he stole more than $100,000 dollars worth of jewelry as well as more than 1,000 pairs of women's undergarments.
Impressive eh? What is more impressive, at least from my point of view, is that this hoard apparently came from just seventeen homes. Is it just me, but isn't that an awful lot of knickers per home? Maybe I'm just a pauper in the pantie department.
After an argument with her former husband, Ryann Jean Stafford set fire to a mounted bison's head at his home. She has been arrested on a charge of third degree arson and bond has been set at $100,000.
Oh, the satisfaction! I bet she thinks it was worth every dime - you go girl!
"How can I not open the door? They have flowers, they say my husband sent them to me, and, besides, they were young kids," said 80-year-old Carmen Nieves. Ms Nieves was speaking after two bouquet-wielding young men relieved her of the $60,000 in savings her husband kept in cash in their home. Nieves went on to say that, once inside her home, they ransacked it "like a tornado."
Rather stupidly, Nieves' husband, Michael Rodriguez, had told somebody about the cache of money and believes that might have led to the robbery. Well, its not rocket science is it. If he'd banked the money he could have bought his wife some flowers with the interest.
A 20-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly selling chocolate animals containing hallucinogenic mushrooms. A cooler bag in the man's truck was found to contain 74 chocolate rabbits and ducks, each containing magic mushrooms.
Dopey - it adds too many calories.
Brisbane Judge, Helen O'Sullivan, has been awarded a Compassionate Judge Award for taking such a firm stance with a burglar who flushed two goldfish down the toilet. During the burglary, Shane Robert Stevenson also ripped a phone from the wall and stole a Playstation console, which he then smashed on the floor.
In her summing up, Judge O'Sullivan said that Stevenson's actions in flushing the fish down the toilet were "sick" and that he was a "very unattractive human being."
In presenting the award to Judge O'Sullivan, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said:
"It is our hope that this ruling will send a message to would-be animals abusers that cruelty to any animal - no matter how small or misunderstood - will be taken seriously."
Yeah right.
A 65 year old professor from University of Massachusetts Medical School has been charged with soliciting sex. Unfortunately for the good doctor, the person he was trying to solicit sex from was an undercover police woman posing as a prostitute.
The professor, Doctor Rice, protests that its all in a day's work because he is researching sexually transmitted diseases.
He ought to research the finances of the sex industry first - I don't think $40 buys you very much these days.
Police were called to investigate a suspicious looking man in a gas station toilet. Noticing the odor of glue around him, they asked if he had been glue-sniffing. He indignantly denied being involved in any such activity. Then he tried to throw his cigarette away - and it stuck to his fingers.
He was arrested and charged with public intoxication and glue sniffing. I don't suppose handcuffs were needed, they just got him to press his hands together.
A police official in Madrid, Spain, decided that, in an effort to cut down on prostitution in the city, hookers wearing revealing clothing in public would be charged with indecent exposure.
The Chief Public Prosecutor had something to say about that though, namely that, as scanty clothing is simply a prostitute's uniform, the girls could not face criminal charges.
I wonder what they do wear on dress down Friday - do you think they dress up in woolly jumpers and big knickers?
In Thailand, a hospital security guard has been jailed for the murder of at least seven fellow security guards and inflicting serious injuries on ten others. He told a a newspaper: "I hate guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty." Well, yeah, I suppose that's one way of solving the problem, after all, what security guard would be able to sleep with him on the prowl?
However, I think this killing spree might have been an attempt to satisfy a demanding woman rather than professional outrage. After our man had bopped his colleagues over the head, he stole their "candies, chocolates and mobile phones."
Maybe if he had slept on the job, he would have been able to keep his woman satisfied in other ways.
A policeman who 'accidentally' shot a football fan in Italy says he "shot in the air." I can't quite work out how that could be, given that the man was shot and killed while in a car with other fans.
More like flying pigs than flying cars.
With the recent pomp and ceremony of the opening of the new parliamentary session and the Queen's speech, one could be forgiven for wondering how many members of parliament die from boredom. Not many I hope because, if they do, they will be breaking the law.
Dying in the Houses of Parliament is an offense, as is entering the Houses of Parliament while wearing armor.
Take note on your next visit to London.
or at least her husband is.
The husband of British pop star, Amy Winehouse, has been remanded in custody this morning, charged with perverting the course of justice. This is unlikely to help her get the US visa that has so far evaded her.
The singer, who has rarely been out of the UK press this year, with reports of her alleged addiction to drugs and alcohol rife, was seen at the US Embassy in Grosvenor Square on Monday. Apparently she was attending a formal interview to get her visa and, for once, she was looking well groomed.
Very different from this morning, when she was seen at her husband's court appearance looking tear-stained and disheveled.
Obviously watching her dreams go up in smoke again.
In China there are 55 strict new rules for the judiciary, including: Judges must not dye their hair, wear heavy make-up, tattoos or painted nails, grow long hair, beards or shave their heads. They are also to desist from using phrases such as: "Are you the judge or am I?" and "You will certainly lose this case."
Judges who break the rules have been warned that they face 'criticism and education,' what's more, serial offenders will be fired.
Spoilsports - Chinese courtrooms sound like a good and entertaining day out to me.
A sixty-year-old German man was appealing to the court on a previous charge of indecent exposure when, during an adjournment for deliberation, he once again stripped naked.
Apparently this guy thinks of himself and his body as a living work of art. Now, if he was in his twenties I could, perhaps, see his point (pun intended) but, come on, sixty! The point of this piece of art is probably hidden under an overhanging stomach.
Despite his ambition, we will not be hanging this man on the wall and calling him Art.
According to New Hampshire police, witches may be responsible for removing a body from a graveyard.
Sarah Symonds, who was buried in 1820, was removed from her grave at the Bible Hill Cemetery on Halloween night. This had led to police saying that if a body is snatched from its grave on Halloween night, some people believe that the skull will give the 'new owner' powers.
Sadly, they don't go on to elaborate what powers will be granted. However, they do go on to support their thinking by saying that "With it being Halloween night and the fact that the hole was dug so perfectly, we don't believe it was grave robbers, because the way it was done and the way the dirt was positioned."
Maybe, then, the powers that are granted are something to do with the accurate positioning of dirt or the ability to dig perfect 90 degree corners or something.
Maybe it was Harry Potter digging in search for Voldemort. Hell, maybe it was Voldemort!
I'm not sure how aware the international community are of the disaffection between the French and the English. In England, certainly, its something of a national sport to have a pop at the French and, having lived in Paris for a year, I know that much the same goes on the other side of the English Channel - or La Manche as the French insist on calling the stretch of water that separates us.
In a recent child custody case, two boys of a French mother and an English father insisted they did not want to live in France with their mother but would rather be in good old Blighty with dad. In an astonishing show of support, three of Britain's most senior judges decided that the boys had an inherent right not to live in France.
English readers shouldn't be too quick to applaud, however. It seems that the boys' reasons for preferring Britain were that they could walk to school, could have their own key and would not have to do as much homework.
Actually, in this instance, I don't think that justice was dumb at all - I just liked the story!
In England, a mother went through the heartbreaking ritual of having her son cremated, only for him to turn up alive a short time later.
Three days after 37 year old Thomas Dennison was reported missing, police found a dead body. The missing man's mother confirmed that the body was that of her son and, following an inquest, the body was cremated. Sad story, made even more depressing by the fact that, four days before the funeral, Dennison was found living rough, less than 100 miles from where he had disappeared. Police failed to tell the mother that her son had been found alive.
The Independent Police Complaints Commission are dead keen to find out what happened and will dig to uncover the truth. Meanwhile, I have a burning desire to find out why the mother identified the wrong boy as her son. I mean, I sometimes long to disown my own sons, but I don't think I'd go quite that far.
In Australia, a woman has been ordered to apologize to a church after slaughtering a goat there in a mock satanic ritual. She must also apologize to the dead goat's owners. According to the woman's lawyers, when she gets drunk she makes "poor decisions."
Well, yeah, if you're gonna nick a goat and play at black magic, its a pretty poor decision to then store the goat's head in your freezer, along with a camera that contains pictures of the goats head alongside the group involved. Which is exactly what this woman did.
I kid you not.
I have to 'fess up here and say that I am not an MTV aficionado but I am told that Vincent "Don Vito" Margera is a celebrity on that channel.
Well, this 'celebrity' has been accused of groping three young girls — one 14-year-old and two 12-year-olds — at an autograph signing at a Colorado mall. S'funny, I can't see anything in either of those words that allude to 'grope.'
The defense maintain that the groping happened because Margera was in character at the event. See - I knew there was a reason for me not watching MTV! I initially turned off in the days of Beavis and Buthead; I thought they were gross, this Don Vito character is obviously grosser! Apparently, this obnoxious character pee'd his pants while groping the children.
As he was taken from the court, Margera was yelling 'just kill me now.'
Tempting, isn't it?
Star of The Matrix and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Keanu Reeves, has been charged with crashing into the car of Alison Silva. Despite the name, Silva is, apparently, male.
Reeves' attorney said that Silva was blocking Reeves’ way out of a car park and that any collision that may have occurred was not hard enough to injure him. Silva, on the other hand, says that he suffered from shock and serious injuries. Initial reports say that Silva was a member of the paparazzi.
Any Matrix fan would understand that Reeves couldn't possibly have driven into that other car because there was no car.
An Australian man claims that he kidnapped and raped a woman because he had been bitten by a spider. He insists that a bite inflicted by a funnel web spider caused him to contract a viral illness, which led him to kidnap and rape his victim. However, a toxicologist has said that there is no evidence that a spider's venom could be responsible for causing anger and hatred. The man was sentenced to eight years in jail.
That poor funnel web, I bet he had a nasty taste in his mouth after biting that rapist.
In Germany, a 70 year old man is charged with secretly cutting down or shortening 122 trees in a publicly owned forest. He said that he did it so that he would have a clear view of the Baltic Sea from his holiday cottage.
This particular chainsaw massacre caused an estimated $22,000 worth of damage and the man who wielded the chainsaw is likely to be charged with damaging property and breaking conservation laws.
Personally, I'm just interested to find out where he got such a long power lead for that chainsaw.
In Orlando, Florida, Timothy Cleary has been accused of punching and attacking somebody during a funeral service. Strangely, the man was dead and in an open casket at the time.
Following the attack, some of the congregation attacked Cleary in return, while others called 911.
A reason for the attack has not been determined but the corpse obviously asked for it.
Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge James Michael Shull of Gate City. Virginia, was unanimously removed from the bench by the Virginia Supreme Court last week.
Apparently, not only had ex-Judge Shull decided a custody dispute by flipping a coin, he had also asked a woman to drop her pants, and called a teenage defendant a 'wuss' and a 'mama's boy.'
It could have been worse, he could have ordered the parents in the custody battle to cut the kid in half.
By rights, in some states of the USA, idiots we expose on this blog would be ineligible to vote, which, in my not so humble opinion, is as it should be.
Next week though, at least New Jersey idiots may be able to vote because, on Nov. 6, NJ voters will decide whether to replace insensitive phrasing in the state Constitution that characterizes people with disabilities as "idiots" and "insane." The original aim of the wording was to bar mental defectives from voting but the word idiot has a different meaning nowadays - as readers of this blog will know.
Mind you, the new wording - which says that voters must have "the capacity to understand the act of voting" - would still probably eliminate large percentage of our Dumb Criminals from the polls.
In Dublin, Ireland, David Clarke was late for a wedding and was trying to make up some time. He was clocked driving down a road at 180 kilometers per hour and seemed certain to lose his license. But, when it came to court, his luck was in. The judge commented that 180 mph did seem excessive but that, when converted to miles, 'twas only 112 mph, which is far more acceptable.
And, for goodness sakes, the weather was dry, the roads were relatively clear and that road Clarke was driving down was uncommonly straight - so, the judge suggested, it was perfectly reasonable to break the legal speed limit in those circumstances.
I wonder if Clarke was the Irish driver who, when stopped by police for speeding was asked if he knew his wife had fallen out of the car about five miles previously. "Ah, thank God," he said, "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
In Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, four city police officers were suspended without pay for allowing a homicide suspect to smuggle a loaded gun into police headquarters. The gun was hidden inside her underwear.
The .25-caliber pistol was inside headquarters (and panties) for about 12 hours before suspect, Trillble El, told interrogating officers about it.
The suspect was not made to walk through a metal detector, she was not thoroughly searched by a female officer when she was brought to the station, and she was permitted to use a public restroom while a City Hall employee was inside, a violation of department policy.
El is charged with fatally shooting a 37-year-old city man in the head.
Maybe she just wanted to feel the weight of a weapon in her panties.
Actor, Lane Garrison, who played David "Tweener" Apolskis in Prison Break, was killed off in the popular TV series earlier this year. In real life he sorta turned the tables by driving his land rover into a tree, thereby killing one of his teenage passengers. The actor apparently met the three teenagers at a grocery store and 'accompanied them to a party.'
The planned defense of 'faulty brakes' hit the skids when Garrison's blood alcohol level was found to be more than twice the legal limit. Cocaine was also found in his system.
He has been sentenced to 40 months in a Californian Prison.
Garrison, who has a starring role in a film called Shooter, just can't seem to get it right. He breaks into prison instead of out of it, he kills somebody instead of getting killed, and shoots himself in the foot with his own stupidity.
Man, this is one dumb celebrity.
Death is a wonderful career move for celebrities, one only has to look at Elvis - and Marilyn Monroe.
A large collection of Monroe's personal belongings has been moved to a secure location awaiting the outcome of a lawsuit filed by her estate last week. Action is being taken against a relative of her former personal assistant.
Millington Conroy possesses letters, notes, financial records, recipes, jewelry, fur coats, hats, purses and perfume bottles belonging to the golden girl. He inherited these items from his mother, who's sister-in-law was Inez Melson, Monroe's assistant.
The Monroe Estate want to set up 'appropriate institutions' for the preservation and display of these items. I see Marilyn's own 'Graceland' on the horizon. There's gold in them there belongings.
Marilyn has left the building but her estate fights on.
Bobby Lee Bolen and Jody Lee were friends but Lee took offense when Bolen helped himself to pickles from his (Lee's) refrigerator.
Lee's comment about not being able to feed everybody was not taken well by Bolen, who stormed out in a temper. Rather unwisely, Bolen returned some time later and threw two large pickles at Lee, before assaulting him with a telephone.
Getting himself into a pickle cost Bolen 54 days in jail with credit for 54 days served and one year of probation.
Just another instance of the sweetness of friendship turning sour.
In California hundreds of sex offenders are abusing more than just children; they are abusing the system too.
They are avoiding limitations on where they can live by declaring themselves homeless, whether they are or not.
The well publicized Jessica's Law, voted in a year ago, states that registered sex offenders cannot live within 2,000 feet of a school or park where children gather. That means there are not many places where they can legally live. This means that the much applauded law could conceivably result in sex offenders being more difficult to monitor than before.
I see a choice of management here - either round 'em all up, house them all in one place and let 'em abuse one another. Or shoot 'em all.