Dumb Justice

• This is Serious - You Must Not Even Think of Laughing
• Cleanliness is Next to Godliness...
• Nick Nolte Involved in Capital Offense
• Jackass Explains
• Johnny Knoxville Plays Jackass
• Now Here's a Fishy Tale
• 'Nuff Said!
• Sock it To Me!
• An Australian Pleasure Cruise
• The Miracle of Christmas!
• Rip Torn and the Christmas Tree - Just Another Unfortunate Episode in the Life of One Dumb Celebrity
• A Scots God of Thunder?
• Sam Shepard in Normal Breath-Test Scandal
• Dillon Ends the Year on a High Note
• Loaded and Ready to Go
• A dollar fifty-seven or jail, which would you choose?
• Stanley's Christmas List
• The Following Story is Not to be Taken Lightly
• It took Balls to Throw These Snowballs
• Shaggy Dog Story
• $50 million! You'll be Lucky to Get 50 Cent!
• How to Get Busted in 6 Easy Steps
• Good Night My Love...
• Good Night My Love...
• Tuna Sandwich Goes Missing
• Seasonal Occupational Hazard
• Hell Hath No Fury and all that...
• Host of 'Most Wanted' Just Happens to be...
• Smile, You're on Candid Camera
• Why You Shouldn't Ask Vinnie Jones if He's the Guy from X-Men
• Honest Honesty
• Fielder-Not-So-Civil Demands Hush Money
• Accused Ruff in Dock
• OJ What Can We Say?
• Dixie Chick's and the West Memphis Three
• Boy George Now Faces Jail
• Polanski Makes Minor Plea
• Phil Spector Guilty...
• The Plaxico Pop
• Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?
• Drunk Driver Runs Himself Over
• Dr Pepper's Can of Worms
• Hulk to Buy Linda New Seaman
• Hooked Up Hooker
• Gas Attack Boy Arrested
• Far From Love All in Connors Match
• Bruce Willis Finds a Whole New Meaning for the Phrase 'Rubber Check'
• Ford Invest More than a Dime in Happy Together
• Woman's Sense of Smell Saves the Day
• Civil War Between the Haves and the Have Mores
• What Sort of Pasta is That, Then?
• Sean Stewart Sued for Muscles He Hasn't Got
• This Crook Should Watch His Diet
• Mathematical Ability Goes Through the Window
• Please Do Not Return to Sender!
• Okay, Who do I Write To?
• No, No, No - You'e Got It All Wrong!
• Holy Diver, Drinkwine!
• "Why Did You Call the Police?"
• Never Say Never(Land)
• Desecration not Consecration
• Pearlman Gets His Hands on New Boy Band
• Swifty Robber is No Brain Surgeon
• Cheetah Cheated
• That Will Teach Him to Sleep on the Job
• Mr Not-so-Civil Free Again
• Dozy Driver was Definitely Drunk
• Obama Pants Stance
• Time is Money!
• Who? Me?
• Pumpkin, Red Cape, Sword, Nudity: Just Another Halloween in Boulder, Colorado
• 20/20 Vision?
• Keep Your Foot off the Gas When Taken Short in Sweden
• Grandmother Aged 85 Threatens to Shoot All the Pigs
• Excuse Me, I didn't quite catch your name?
• Now - That is Class!
• Taking Self Service to New Heights
• Pussy Cat Doll Pushes Right Buttons
• Bananas in Pyjamas - the Adult Version
• Any Side Orders with That?
• Thumbs Up for Finding the Missing Piece of the Puzzle
• How's This for REAL Dumb Celebrity!
• The Shady Deal Maker Isn't, Apparently
• Pot Pointers
• Jester Lives Up to Her Name and Cops a Charge
• Maddona and Guy are Friends, Apparently.
• The Rising Cost of Living is Blamed for Angry Outburst
• The Tale of McCain and the Poo Depositor
• Two Nights, Two Fights
• Batman Arrested for Wearing a Mask
• I'm not Ignoring You: I Can't Hear You!
• Going Down
• There Must Be Easier Ways of Attracting Your Partner's Attention!
• Is that a Lobster in Your Pants or are You Pleased to See Me?
• Thief Comes to Watery End
• Beethoven Delivers a Rap Across the Knuckles
• Peter Cook is not a Scumbag Pervert
• A Sign of the Times?
• Blundering Blue Bunny with Bucket Bungles Burglary
• If Police Catch You Having Sex in Your Car...
• Lechery - an Unrecognized Symptom of PTSD?
• A Word of Caution for all Would Be Law Breakers
• Correctional Fluid Leads to Correctional Facility
• Now, Here's an Unlikely Yarn,,,
• Don't Stand Too Close!
• And the Final Word goes to
• Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? No! It's Stipe Cavlovic
• Oscar Robertson has Fleece Lined Pockets - Allegedly!
• Hey Ma - There's a Cow Peeing on Our Porch
• The Excitement of Being a Celebrity
• Britney Doesn't Want to Play!
• Heather Locklear in Morose Place!
• Dumb Pussy
• A Bridge Too Far
• Does My Bum Look Big in This?
• Police Officer Battered by the Wind
• Holy Cow!
• Newsreader NOT Fined for Failing to Post Dog Poo
• Sorry for Screwing Up Again
• Cross Dressing Lamb
• Butt Waxing is Tip of Iceberg for Terri Hughes
• And You Thought Men Couldn't Multi-Task!
• Man Get's Ass Thrown into Jail
• Is a Gram of Weed Enough to Make a Sandwich?
• Spot the Family LIkeness
• Is this Alcohol Abuse?
• Sacramento Cop Arrested for 'Exhibiting a Deadly Weapon'
• She's Yours for a Pint
• The Earth Certain Moved For Him...
• Tasered in Tallahassee
• Mouldy Old Dough
• Only in England...
• You'll have to come to your own conclusions about this one...
• And you thought you're partner was mean...
• Does Russia Count as a Celebrity?
• Luna Tics Ruffle Cops' Feathers
• Even If You Only Use Cocaine When You're With Prostitutes...
• Helpful Hint...
• Police to Tackle Too Busy Syndrome
• Dead Man in Good Health
• Bribe Sandwiches Obviously Contained Wrong Fillling
• You Just Can't Get Decent Staff Nowadays...
• The Shoe Bandit Beagle
• Kate Hudson in Hair Raising Scandal
• How Do You Know When You're Really Poor?
• Research Results Awaited with Interest
• Please Don't Tell the Wife
• Jail Pigeon Breeding Project Doomed!
• It Wasn't Me, Your Honor
• Is it a plane, is it a bat...
• Doing Things By the Book!
• Who? Who? It Was the Owl What Dunnit!
• Follow That Chair!
• This Guy Can't Drum Up Any Support From Me!
• Remember the Guy Who Stole the Beer...
• Aah!
• Um, That's the Wrong Sort of Bar!
• When You're Out on the Rob...
• Englishman and His Girlfriend Make the Earth Move...
• What Do You Wear When the Laundry Basket's Full and the Wardrobe's Empty?
• You Can Tell Me - I'm a Porn Inspector
• Ex-Virgin Stabs Girlfriend
• Step Away from the Bride!
• Why did Rudy Cross the Road?
• News: Germans Do Have a Sense of Humor!
• Follow That Cab!
• Can I Call You Back Later?
• Is That A Chicken in Your Pants...
• The Romans had Bear Baiting Pits
• Wacky Races
• What Happened to Honor Among Thieves?
• German Police in Sting Operation
• Mother Gives Court The Finger!
• Something Must Have Egged Them On...
• Will Secret Thief be Busted?
• Silence is Golden
• The Laying on of Hands...
• Should These People Be Charged with Battery?
• The Caring Face of Justice
• Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?!
• Come On; We've All Done It!
• What a Comeback!
• My Boy Lollipop
• Not So Merry Divorcee
• They Obviously Don't Read Dumb Justice!
• Bed Time Reading?
• The Woman is Nuts!
• Is This What They Mean By 'Sleeping on the Job?'
• Traffic Violation
• Fielder-Civil Wants to Be Role Model for Winehouse
• Man Breaks into Car and...
• He was Hot, Man!
• Comedian Urinates in Restaurant Parking Lot
• Monkey Discrimination Rife in Springfield!
• Reality Show Star to Get Dose of Reality
• And next time, put the lid down!
• Mooove Along There Please!!
• Brinkly Wants Cook in Children's Lives
• Just Two Words: Wesley Snipes
• Six Foot, Seven Foot, Eight Foot...Bunch!
• Hot Tip for Planning the Perfect Murder
• Wife Arrested for Grabbing Her Husband's Genitals
• THINK YOU'RE BEING SCREWED FOR GAS?
• DAZED AND CONFUSED IN AMSTERDAM
• BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE
• IS THIS A STICK UP?
• COSMETIC SURGEON ARRESTED FOR DRIVING WRONG WAY UP RAMP
• FELONIOUS ASSAULT WITH FORK AND CHICKEN
• BUT HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH A NICE MAN...
• DRUNK IN CHARGE OF A WHEELCHAIR!
• GOD HELD ON BOND OF $86,500!!
• THAT'S GOOD OLD BRITISH JUSTICE FOR YOU!
• READ ON TO CONFIRM WHAT YOU ALWAYS KNEW ANYWAY...
• GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN'
• FIRST THERE WAS THE CHINESE WOMAN HIDING IN A CUPBOARD
• THAT'S NOT MODEL BEHAVIOUR!
• PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH AND SMOKE IT!
• WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS
• BRITISH WOMAN HAS BAD HAIR DAY
• WHAT'S THAT LARGE HARD OBJECT IN YOUR PANTS AREA?
• DEAR JOHN
• I (DON'T) WANT TO BE FREE!
• PIT STOP
• LINDA HOGAN UNDERSTANDS THE IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING FAMILY TRADITION
• SCOTT STORCH, SLIGHT SNAG
• FLAVOR EXPLOSION?
• OOPS, WRONG HOUSE!
• AMY WINHOUSE - TRULY A CRACKPOT!
• SHOULD THREE-HOLE PUNCHES BE BANNED
• WANT PROOF THAT DOING DRUGS KILLS OFF YOUR BRAIN CELLS?
• NOVEL USE FOR A CERTIFIED LASER INSTRUMENT
• RAPPER NOT RAPT!
• ONE WRONG MOVE AND I GET IT!
• CRACK INVESTIGATOR? CRACK ACTRESS?
• WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LOAD OF MANURE TO ME!
• HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD...
• THONGS FOR THE MEMORY
• WELL, I'D HAVE NOTICED SOONER IF SHE'D NABBED THE TV REMOTE!
• THIS TOO WILL PASS
• NO, REALLY, WE WERE JUST PASSING THROUGH...
• THE MOUNTIES GET THEIR MAN
• IS THAT A SAUSAGE IN YOUR PANTS, OR ARE YOU PLEASED TO SEE ME?
• ROBBER DUCT WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE DIVED
• MAN HAS YEN FOR TASTY VOICE
• THE MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS IS ALIVE AND WELL
• SLEEP EASY, THE MEAN STREETS ARE SAFE
• JUST ONE CAREFUL OWNER!
• PIMP MY RIDE!
• NOT NEWS: YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR GROWING GRASS
• NOT EXACTLY GRAND THEFT AUTO - CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR!
• JUDGE CAN'T TAKE THE RAP!
• MORE SWINEMAN THAN PEARLMAN?
• BREAST JOB IN THE WORLD GOES TITS UP
• MEAN GIRL, LINDSAY LOHAN, NICKS COAT...
• THIS STORY IS JUST SHOCKING!
• HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEBODY IS A GENUINE CROSS DRESSER?
• HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD...
• WAS DROWNED MAN 'VERTICALLY CHALLENGED?'
• NOW, I NEVER THOUGHT'T THAT WOULD STAND UP IN COURT
• UM, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE DOING IT WRONG...
• OH, COR BLIMEY! JAILED FOR PLANTING AN APPLE TREE
• I CAME BACK FROM MY VACATION AND I BOUGHT THIS SOUVENIR PACK OF CAKE MIX
• CRACK ROBBER
• IF YOU MUST USE A STOLEN CREDIT CARD
• THE MOUNTIES GET THEIR MAN!
• SO THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WAS A CAMP COUNSELOR!
• AH, THE OLD 'MIRROR ON THE FLOOR' TRICK
• GIVE AND TAKE OR TAKE AND GIVE...
• MAN RECEIVES TWO SENTENCES TO RUN CONCURRENTLY
• OH, WHAT THIS? IT'S NOT MINE, I'M LOOKING AFTER IT FOR A FRIEND
• RONALDO ON HIS TRANSVESTITE EXPERIENCE : "IT TOOK ON A VERY BIG DIMENSION"
• MAKING THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE CRIME?
• NEW YORK PRISONERS TO PLAY WITH FULL DECK!
• CRIMINAL PREFERS BEING IN JAIL TO BEING IN CANADA
• DOGATE OR BOBBIT?
• WE MUST GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SITUATION!
• POLICE LOOK INTO POSTMAN'S SHORTS
• THE COURT DOES NOT APPROVE OF SOMEONE WHO LEAVES PRISON
• SPOT THE MISTAKE....
• DIDN'T HE LEARN ANYTHING!
• THE PLOT THINS!
• A WEDDING'S NOT A WEDDING WITHOUT A DRUNKEN BRAWL
• PERHAPS THEY SHOULD HAVE WAITED BEFORE AUTHENTICATING THE CARGO?
• MAN FELT LIGHT HEADED WHEN TAKING LIE DETECTOR TEST
• SMOOTH OPERATOR!
• IF SHE ONLY HAD A BRAIN!
• ANOTHER MEGA HIT FOR AMY WINEHOUSE
• HAS NOBODY AROUND HERE HEARD OF ROLEPLAY?
• YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT PEEPING TOM, NOW READ ABOUT STEALING DICK
• PLEASE, NO! DON'T TASER ME IN THE CAVITY!
• WHERE'S THE @*&^%ING TOMATOES!
• HE MIGHT HAVE SHOT THE SHERIFF BUT HE DIDN'T SHOOT THE DEPUTY...
• HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A PHOTOGRAPH...
• SLEEPING POLICEMAN
• RICHARD QUEST BREACHES CARPARK CURFEW
• I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE, BUT IT JUST HAS TO BE SAID...
• BABY SHAMBLES
• WELL, I'VE HEARD SOME EXCUSES IN MY TIME...
• GAP IN WALMART'S PRODUCT RANGE FILLED
• AND GOD CREATED MUSLIMS TOO...
• IF YOU'RE GONNA SUE STAFF FOR BREAKING CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS...
• RETCHED CRIMINAL AT SICK UP!
• SO THAT'S WHERE THE WMD WENT!
• YET ANOTHER DOPE DOPE!
• OKAY - YOU'RE GROUNDED!
• IF YOU WANT TO CONVINCE SOCIAL WORKERS THAT YOU'RE FIT TO BE A MOTHER
• CHINESE MERCHANT FLOPS - AND GETS STIFF SENTENCE
• ANY GANG THAT WOULD ADMIT EITHER OF THESE TWO, IS NOT A GANG YOU WOULD WANT TO BE IN...
• A GOOD CLEAN FIGHT
• SEND HIM DOWN!
• WILL THE FORCE BE WITH HIM?
• SEE, MISCHA, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU
• SUPERMODEL NAOMI CAMPBELL WILL NO LONGER 'FLY BRITISH'
• PERHAPS HE WAS JUST TRYING TO INJECT THE TEENAGER WITH SPINE?
• ...AND WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS TIME?
• TROUSER SNAKE?
• CAGED CHIHUAHUA
• I FEEL YOUR PAIN, WHY DON'T YOU COME IN AND TALK ABOUT IT?
• SLOW AND SURE WINS THE RACE
• HAPPY MEALS AVAILABLE HERE!
• WHEN WE DIE, WE TEND TO WEAR OUR SUNDAY BEST
• THAT'S DAYLIGHT ROBBERY!
• ANTI-CRIME CENTER STOLEN!
• WHAT THE BUTLER DIDN'T SEE
• THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I ASKED YOU TO LAY THE TABLE...
• The Lost Highway of Richie Sambora
• A PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME?
• THE 5MPH CAR CHASE
• DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THE BLOODY CAT!
• WYATT TWERP
• OOPS, SORRY DEAR!
• RAPED BY WHAT?!
• OCH, 'TIS ONLY A WEE THING!
• WITHOUT JIM, YOU'RE NOTHING ANYWAY!
• YOU REALLY COULDN'T MAKE THIS ONE UP!
• MOM, WE BLEW-UP THE BABY SITTER!
• ERM: WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT A DRIVE THRU
• ELEVEN GOOD MEN AND ONE DOPE
• WARNING: ALCOHOL CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH
• POLICE BUST PANTS PARTY
• THE CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS APOLOGIZES FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED...
• AND THEY ALL WENT TO HEAVEN IN A LITTLE ROWBOAT...
• GIBSON SAY THAT MTV AND ELECTRONIC ARTS ARE NOT THEIR GUITAR HEROES!
• TROUBLE ON THE CARDS
• EXCUSE ME SIR, I THINK YOU'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING...
• HEY MAN, I THINK YOU'VE GOT SPINACH CAUGHT BETWEEN YOUR TEETH
• PERHAPS YOU CAN JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
• THAT'LL TEACH HER TO FIRE HER LAWYER!!
• A WORD TO THE WISE: IF SOMEBODY NICKS YOUR DOPE, DON'T CALL THE COPS!
• JESUS DIDN'T TELL THIS ONE TO DO IT...
• JESUS TOLD HIM TO DO IT!
• BOOM! BOOM! - PART TWO
• BOOM! BOOM!
• WHICH PART OF 'RETURN TO SENDER' DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY?
• NO ROBBERIES TODAY: HALFDAY CLOSING!
• GIMME THE MONEY - OR THE BUNNY GETS IT!
• SHOULD HAVE SAT ON THE FENCE, PAL!
• THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE?
• DUMB CRIMINAL, EVEN DUMBER EXCUSE
• DO YOU THINK HE GOT DISCOUNT FOR BUYING IN BULK
• THEY WANTED RED HANDED CROOKS, INSTEAD THEY GOT RED-FACED COPS
• JACKPOT!
• LAWYER DIPS INTO CLIENTS' ACCOUNTS TO FUND HER GAMBLING ADDICTION
• BUNGLING BANKRUPT'S POLISHED PERFORMANCE
• MEET MRS ANGRY OF BEIJING
• YOUNG MAN, I AM IN THE PRIME OF MY SENILITY!
• IT WAS JUST A BIT OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE!
• THAT IS NOT WHAT'S MEANT BY BUMP AND RUN!
• AND THE MOM OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO...
• DOUGHNUTS AND WHISKY - BUT NO WILD, WILD WOMEN
• POLICING IS SUCH BACK BREAKING WORK...
• POKE!
• FISTFIGHT AT CHUCK E. CHEESE!
• DOING THINGS BY THE BOOK
• EEK! THAT SUCKS
• THE GNOME PROJECT
• POLICE SHOULD HAVE TREAD MORE GINGERLY
• CLASS DROP OUT
• PSST! WANNA BUY A CAR?
• NO, NO, NO - IT'S FOREPLAY, NOT FLOORPLAY!
• WELL, OF COURSE I DROVE OFF - YOU HAD A TASER POINTED AT ME!
• LOOK RIGHT, LOOK LEFT,
• BEAT IT, MICHAEL!
• 35MM (OR MAYBE THAT SHOULD BE 38DD)
• NEVER DATE SOMEBODY YOU WORK WITH - IT JUST DOESN'T WORK
• DARLING, DID THE EARTH MOVE FOR YOU?
• WHEEE!!
• SOMETIMES YOU JUST CAN'T RESIST A DARE
• YOUNG PUP IN DISGRACE
• AH COME ON, IT WAS ONLY A LOVE BITE!
• THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL -
• MAY THE FORCE BE WITH HIM
• NIGHTMARE ON DUMB STREET
• WHAT A STUPID WASTE OF A LIFE...
• SO WHY IS THIS NEWS?
• IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HONEST
• FANCY A HOT DOG?
• YOU'VE SEEN THE MERCEDES BENZ
• NAKED AMBITION?
• OH COME ON, IT'S ONLY A GAME!
• DUBAI DJ DUMBO
• LA HOYA WHERE ARE YA!
• COME ON MAN: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
• IN THE UK JUDGES WEAR LONG WHITE WIGS
• FLUSHED - BUT NOT WITH SUCCESS!
• HE'LL NEVER GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE AGAIN
• WHICH BIT OF 'NO LONGER EMPLOYED' DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
• WILL BAI LING END UP IN SING SING?
• MINI CRIME WAVE ON LONG DISTANCE BUSES
• IF YOU GO TO A FANCY DRESS PARTY DRESSED AS A BANK ROBBER
• PLEASE YOURSELF!
• YEAH RIGHT - AND MY NAME'S PERRY MASON
• NYPD BLUE TOO BLUE
• NOT SUCH A BRIGHT SPARK AFTER ALL
• JUSTICE SYSTEM AIMS TO PLEASE...
• WEREWOLF OF POTTSVILLE....
• YEAH - BUT WHO GRASSED HER UP?
• ONCE IS UNFORTUNATE...
• OOH! I'VE NEVER SEEN A ZUCCHINI THAT COLOR BEFORE!
• SCHOOL BOY RECEIVES DAMAGES - FOR THE TRAUMA OF SEEING HIS TEACHER'S BREASTS!
• HALF CUT ROBBER RESISTS ARREST
• CAN FASHION DESIGNERS BE CLASSED AS CELEBRITIES?
• DEAD WEIGHT
• FANCY GETTING ANGRY OVER SUCH A TINY THING
• CRACK IN MAN'S BUTTOCKS
• YOU COULD HAVE HAD SOMEBODY'S EYE OUT WITH THAT!!
• ...AND SO GOLDILOCKS LAID ON THE BABY BEAR'S BED AND WENT TO SLEEP
• THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS
• ANIMAL INSTINCTS SPELL THE END FOR SMALL-TOWN MAYOR
• THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS LAUNCH MISSILES!
• A WORD OF CAUTION
• HOT FUZZ: THE SEQUEL
• THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAIL
• IS THAT A CATTLE PROD OR ARE YOU PLEASED TO SEE ME?
• ATTACK FROM MARS!
• I DISNEY BELIEVE IT!
• AURAL SEX
• ANOTHER MAN WENT TO MOW
• MISS HUNT, YOU'RE LOOKING SLIGHTLY STIFF THIS MORNING!
• AND HERE'S TO YOU, MR ROBINSON
• PLEASE MAY I HAVE MY BALL BACK?
• BURGLAR'S CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!
• FREELANCE OPPORTUNITY
• BUS (ted)
• NO SHIT!
• I KNOW ITS ONLY A LITTLE THING, BUT YOU'RE BUSTED!
• SPAM FRITTERED
• HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
• DUMB RAPPER NUMBER TWO
• IT'S ALL ABOUT FORWARD PLANNING
• FOLLOW THAT CAR - IT'S OURS!
• NOW WHERE'S MY HUNNY BUNNY?
• TWENTY FOUR HOURS IN THE LIFE OF KIEFER SUTHERLAND
• THAT'S NOT THE SORT OF BREAD I MEANT!
• WANTED AND DESIRED?
• I'M JUST CAUGHT IN A LOOP OF CRIME
• LINDSAY LOHAN TO TAKE ACTING LESSONS...
• LOCK UP COCK UP
• STIFF SURPRISE FOR BURGLAR
• HI! PLEASED TO MEET YOU, I'M YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD BURGLAR
• OOPS, SORRY PAL. NO HARM DONE EH?
• DRAGNET?
• OKAY - WHO GRASSED ON ME!
• LOTTERY WINNER SINGS - BUT NOT FOR JOY
• LATERAL THINKING - THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!
• WHAT A BALLS UP!
• THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE BLAH BLAH BLAH
• NEW SOURCE OF MARIJUANA UNLIKELY TO BE POPULAR
• HEY PAL, YOU MUST BE CRACKED TO PULL THAT KINDA STUNT!
• IF YOU'RE THINKING OF ROBBING A BANK, DON'T 'SAY IT WITH FLOWERS!'
• CRACKSHOT
• EXCUSE ME OFFICER, DID YOU KNOW YOU HAD PAINT ON YOUR DRESS?
• THIS ONE WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY!
• IF YOU DON'T REMIT, THEY CAN'T ACQUIT!
• ESCAPEE COULD END UP WITHOUT A LEG TO STAND ON
• IS THIS PROOF THAT THE YOUNGER GENERATION ARE DUMBER THAN WE WERE?
• WANT TO GET ON THE FAST TRACK? GET GPS!
• IN LAWS TURNED ME INTO AN OUTLAW!
• HEY, NICE SHOT!
• THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE CONTINUE TO TURN
• BAIL DODGE TO DODGE BAIL FAILS
• REVENGE OF THE PIT BULL
• LAW VERSUS LAW
• MOTOR MOUTH!
• CEREAL OFFENSE?
• BIG BOYS DO CRY
• IF HE ONLY HAD A BRAIN!
• INVENT: NEW WAY TO CELEBRATE NEW YEAR?
• HAS HE BITTEN OFF MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW?
• OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN - PART THREE
• HE'S BEHIND YOU!
• NOT THE GREAT ESCAPE!
• NOT EVEN THIRD TIME LUCKY!
• SHE'S A FIGHTER, NOT A WRITER!
• YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED!
• CAN YOU GET TO THE 'BOTTOM' OF THIS ONE?
• MAN, THAT EXCUSE IS SO OLD!
• TINK PUTS THIEF IN THE CLINK
• SO THAT'S WHY THEY WEAR THOSE ROBES!
• RAPPER RAPPED
• COP OBJECTS TO HANKIE PANKY
• LIVE AND LET LIVE, MR BOND!
• TIP OF THE WEEK
• MAN TRIES TO NAIL GIRL - FAILS
• AND THIS JUST IN...
• I'M GETTING REAL WORRIED ABOUT SANTA!
• GOING WITH THE FLOW
• NAKED MAN DRIVES CAR INTO HOUSE - IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS!!
• THERE MIGHT BE MORE THAN ONE SANTA !!!
• RIGHTFUL END FOR REMAINING REMAINS
• THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF THE COMPENSATION CULTURE
• UGANDAN ARRESTS POO-POO'D
• KLUM'S NOT SO LUCKY CLOVER
• PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT FOR GIBSON?
• WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S IN SANTA'S SAC?
• TRAIL COULD LEAD TO TRIAL
• SHORT ARM OF THE LAW CONFOUNDED BY FELON'S DEEP POCKETS?
• COULDN'T YOU HAVE MASHED IT FIRST?
• AMY WINO ARRESTED
• IT'S OFFICIAL - THE UNITED KINGDOM IS REALLY A SOAP OPERA!
• NOT YOUR AVERAGE PEDESTRIAN CRIME
• 2007 NOT GOOD YEAR FOR PARIS
• TWO'S COMPANY, TEN'S A CROWD
• MAGIC LEG DISAPPEARS
• PRISON OFFICERS PERFORM CAVITY SEARCH - AND FIND EXTRA CAVITY
• OUTRAGEOUS! TEN YEAR OLD USES KNIFE TO CUT FOOD!
• THE PRICE MIGHT BE RIGHT BUT THE CAR'S A WRECK
• 'SNO BALLS
• LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!
• HE'S BEEN DRINKING THAT FIRE-WATER AGAIN!
• BUTTS TESTED BUT NOT TRIED
• HO! HO! HO!
• WELL, IF IT'S NOT A BUSINESS EXPENSE, IT MUST BE PERSONAL.
• YOUNG WOMAN DECLINES SENIOR SERVICE
• IF YOU DON'T STOP DOING THAT, MY DOG WILL HEADBUTT YOU!!
• LET ME FLY YOU TO THE MOON
• OKAY PAL, WHEN YOU TAKE THE STAND, I WANT YOU TO SING LIKE A CANARY!
• I TOLD YOU THE WORLD WAS GOING TO POT!
• IF HE WASN'T PINNED TO THE PERCH, HE'D BE PUSHING UP THE DAISIES
• HAVE YOU GOT A LICENSE FOR THAT?
• YOU'LL HAVE SOMEBODIES EYE OUT WITH THAT!!
• FROM TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TO FORTY-EIGHT DAYS
• UP THE CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE
• MY MUM WAS RIGHT!
• THE GRASS IS DEFINITELY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE
• CRACKPOT NEW CANDY
• HOW TO POT A PORSCHE
• SINGER THROWS FAN INTO THE CROWD
• I'M LOVIN' IT!
• SATNAV OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD FOR AUTO CRIME
• MORE OF A GLIMMER THAN A FLASH
• BATTERING RAM TO CRACK A PIZZA
• MY GOODNESS! THEIR GUINNESS!
• FREE TUTORIAL!!! HOW TO GROOM WOMEN FOR SEX!!
• A PARTY NOT TO BE MISSED?
• CHEERS BUDDY!
• MAYBE THEY JUST WANT TO SEE HOW IT ENDED
• NOW THAT TAKES THE BISCUIT!
• NOW, WHERE'S THAT 'GET OUT OF JAIL FREE' CARD?
• WANG'S WORLD
• OOPS, SORRY, OLD CHAP!
• FANCY A DANISH?
• OH! THE SAUCE OF IT!
• WHAT'S IN A NAME?
• MOBILE THAI BREAKER
• BMW ALWAYS COME FIRST
• BUT, LIKE I KEEP TELLING YOU, IT WAS MY RIGHT OF WAY!
• "HEIL HITLER!" HE BARKED
• RULE NUMBER ONE: IF YOU'RE GOING TO THE POLICE STATION MAKE SURE YOU DON'T SMELL OF WEED
• MAN RUNNING NAKED ALONG HIGHWAY FOUND TO BE DRUNK - NOW THERE'S A SURPRISE!
• DO AS I DAMN WELL TELL YOU - OR THE GOAT GETS IT!
• OKAY - WHO'S GONNA BE THE FIRST PERSON TO TEASE HIM ABOUT IT?
• ERM, YOU'RE MEANT TO WEAR THE STOCKING OVER YOUR FACE!
• NO YOU GOT IT WRONG - YOU'RE MEANT TO TAKE FROM THE RICH AND GIVE TO THE POOR
• ALL QUIET ON THE PRISON FRONT
• SUCH A FUN GUY!
• PLUSH LUST
• IS THIS WHAT THEY MEAN BY MONEY LAUNDERING?
• ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR MOMMA!
• DOH!
• I'VE GOT A STAPLER - AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT
• IT'S ALL DOWN TO MARKET FORCES
• DO YOU TAKE CREDIT CARDS?
• IS THAT AN EGG IN YOUR UNDERPANTS, OR ARE YOU PLEASED TO SEE ME?
• KNICKERS!
• SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE?
• SAY IT WITH FLOWERS!
• WANNA BUZZ? BUY A BUNNY!
• BURGLAR LEAVES PETS FEELING FLUSHED
• IT'S A DIRTY JOB BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO DO IT!
• STUCK FOR A LIGHT?
• CAN'T WAIT FOR DRESS DOWN FRIDAY!
• MORE EFFECTIVE THAN STIMULANTS!
• LOOK! A FLYING CAR!
• I DON'T CARE HOW BORED YOU ARE - YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE HERE!
• WINEHOUSE IN THE DOGHOUSE
• HEY, YOUR HONOUR, NO FROLICKING IN COURT!
• NAKED AMBITION
• POLICE SEEK WOMAN WITH WART ON HER NOSE
• IT'S JUST NOT BRITISH!
• AND, ON THE THIRD DAY.....
• AH, LEAVE IT ALONE, IT'S JUST A KID!
• WHAT PART OF AUTOGRAPH SIGNING DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
• KEANU'S NOT SO EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
• YEAH, RIGHT!
• HAMBURG CHAINSAW MASSACRE
• MAN MAY FACE STIFF PENALTY AFTER FIGHT
• THERE GOES THE JUDGE
• OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT ELIGIBLE TO VOTE, YOU IDIOT!
• IRISH LOGIC - 'TIS A WONDERFUL THING
• I WASN'T GONNA SHOOT ANYBODY, IT JUST FELT GOOD!
• TWEENER 'TWEEN WALLS
• DO BUSINESSMEN PREFER DEAD BLONDES?
• FRIENDS GET THEMSELVES INTO A PICKLE
• SEX PESTS HANGING OUT
• FRENCH KISSING CAN GET YOU INTO TROUBLE
• THAT'S HANDY
• ROBBERS WITH RELISH
• WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?
• A TALE OF THE LIVING DEAD
• DOGGED BY DISASTER
• IS THAT A BOOB I SEE BEFORE ME?
• IS THAT A SWORD IN YOUR HAND OR ARE YOU PLEASED TO SEE ME?
• CRIMINAL BIG CHEESE SIEZED!
• RADIO CONTROLLED LOVE-IN
• PAINFULLY EXECUTED - MAYBE
• HITCH HIKERS GUIDE TO THE PHALLUSY
• DOES CRACK KILL?
• MAN OBJECTS TO HIS SISTER SHAVING WHAT!
• FLASH IN THE CAN
• HEROINE INVESTIGATES NOISES IN THE NIGHT
• GIANT GARBAGE SACK REQUIRED
• TEENAGERS SUCCESSFULLY HAIL TAXICAB
• SLIPPERY SLOPE TO CRIME
• SPY IN THE SKY
• MISTREATED MISCREANT
• PASTEURIZE YOUR NUTS
• JUST HANG ME ON THE WALL AND CALL ME ART
• SORRY, WRONG NUMBER
• FBI RAID COPPERFIELD'S WAREHOUSE
• BRITNEY TEARS
• I CAN'T POSSIBLY EAT THAT WITHOUT A GOOD CHIANTI
• PINK CHAMPAGNE
• MOVED BY THE SPIRIT
• YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS COMPLAINING
• TRICK OR TREAT
• BURGLAR BITES OF MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW
• SIX YEAR OLD VANDAL
• DOCTOR, DOCTOR
• HIP HOP COPS RAP RAPPER
• MY HONOR, YOUR PENIS
• BLOOMIN' LUCKY ESCAPE
• MAYBE SHE DOESN'T DO DRUGS AT NIGHT
• HARRY POTTER IN BOLLYWOOD?
• FOOD FOR THOUGHT?
• JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE?
• THERE'S A TIME AND A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING
• COCAINE STUFFS BEETLES
• IRON BOY SHOT DEAD
• STRONG ARM DONUT ROBBERY
• GAYLORD PRIDE KILLING
• Olympic Athlete Admits to Cheating
• POP TART'S PAIN
• PLOT THICKENS IN BATTLE FOR MIDDLE EARTH
• You Should Have Put It In His GLASS
• LOST LIMB LEGS IT HOME
• Patrol Officer Has Four Foot Long Face
• Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dogs' Tails...
• Roll Up, Roll Up, Fifty Dollars A Puke!!
• DON'T JUDGE ME UNTIL...
• I Was Only Joking
• Good, Clean Fun
• Off The Cuff, I'm Going To Mexico
• Ssshhhh!!
• Anything That Goes Bang is Illegal
• Hogan Doesn't Know Best
• Keeping Up The Image
• Credit Where Credit Is Due
• Star Gazer Cons Starry Eyed
• Please, Not in Front of the Children!
• Maybe She Just Wanted a Souvenir...
• For Goodness Sake Girl, Run!
• Will George Be Next Member Of Club
• Who Pulled The Trigger
• Halitosis Hunch
• Jack Bauer Fails To Evade LAPD
• I'm Sam I Am
• Chicken Run
• What's Wrong With This Picture
• The Wrangle Of The Wigs
• Maybe Stick Up Means Something Different in Australia?
• Is It A Stretch to Call This Sedan A Limo?
• NEVER Put Anything in Writing!
• Spector Thinks the Judge Doesn't Like Him!!
• Head or Heart - The Result Was the Same
• Shh! Don't Disturb Him, He's Had A Hard Night
• Don't Take the Bait!
• Why is it never the young, good looking folk?
• How on earth did he do that!
• Sentenced to Listen to Manilow
• Peeping Tom Has Nothing To Peep At
• Don't Worry, They're Only Serving a Search Warrant
• Smoking is Harmful to Health
• Now Where's the Sensei in That?
• The Bloom of Youth
• Fanny Flaunter Has Unlucky Streak
• Secret of Li'l Wayne's Success Uncovered
• Rug Rat Rascal?
• Drinking or Driving?
• Tough as Nails
• Play it Again Sam
• Cops Come Between Cuddlesome Couple
• Form Foils Felon
• Penitent Pen Pusher?
• Fanny Flaunters Find Fines in LA
• Can You Trust Your Dentist After This!
• Muggers Leave Their Pictures Behind
• Assisted Suicide Fails When Gunstore Refuses to Shoot
• Teenager's Cigarette Sets Off Stolen Gunpowder
• Criminal Caught in Window of House He Was Burglarizing
• Phil, Phil, Say it Ain't So! Shoot Who? Where?
• You Left What at the Scene of the Crime?!!!
• I Thought You Meant Talking on the Cell Phone!
• Lawsuit Filed Against Restaurant Critic
• Say Cheese! Thief Takes Cameras, Leaves Video
• Paris Hasn't Done Drugs?
• Police Tell Six-Year-Old Boy to Confess He's a Career Criminal
• Ronald MacDonald Charged with Trying to Rob Wendy's