This from South Africa:

When officers from Isipingo Metro Police arrived at work at 6am one day last week, they were greeted by the sight of one of their vehicles up on bricks. Thieves had cut through a fence and stolen all four rims and tires off a Toyota Run-X.

If this was the first time, the cops could perhaps just put it down to experience - albeit a rather embarrassing one. However, this was not the first time.

About three weeks ago, the rims and tires of four taxis impounded there were also stolen.

And towards the end of last year - so just a few weeks ago - diesel from some Durban Solid Waste trucks, which park on the property because the company has offices there, was siphoned over a period of a few nights. Police caught the suspects when they went back for a repeat performance.

Not a good average really, is it.

IOL.co.za

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 05:28 AM | Permalink

A 12-year-old boy was arrested in Florida earlier this month after deliberately passing gas to disrupt the class. The boy was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at his High School. He was arrested November 4 for disrupting a school function.

The County Sheriff's Office report, notes that the 4'11" offender admitted that he "continually disrupted his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers."

Now if he can shut off several computers by breaking wind, that's some neat trick that should be celebrated rather than punished.

The boy was turned over to his mother following the arrest.

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:00 AM | Permalink

The President Elect told an MTV interviewer that he thought criminalizing baggy pants was a complete waste of time, although he added that "brothers should pull up their pants."

The MTV interviewer was prompted to question Obama on the matter by a controversial new law targeting droopy drawers in Riviera Beach. Police have made 17 arrests since they began enforcing the law mid-August.

In one example, an arrested man seemed puzzled when police stopped him for allegedly exposing "approximately five-six inches of his multi-colored boxer style undergarment."

Bring on the new world order!

The Smoking Gun

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:22 AM | Permalink

The Naked Pumpkin Run has been a Halloween tradition in Boulder, Colorado, for ten years but this year's huge crowd concerned the police, who ticketed a dozen or so revelers.

It seems that, in Boulder at least, its okay to go naked in the streets provided that nobody around you is fully clothed. It was dozens of costumed revelers, including a man with a red cape and a sword, that drew the police attention leading to charges of indecent behavior. The people thus charged were naked save for hollowed out pumpkins on their heads.

As the caped man was heard to say, the police would have been better occupied going to "find real criminals."

In defense of the police action, Boulder police Chief, Mark Beckner, said officers "wanted to do something before the event got out of hand."

Yahoo

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:09 AM | Permalink

A court in Trelleborg, Sweden, has ruled that diarrhea is not sufficient reason to break the posted speed limit while driving.

The district court rejected the argument of a woman who said that she was forced to drive 53 mph in a 43 mph zone because she desperately needed the toilet.

As far as the court is concerned, the speed limit can only be broken in cases of emergency, which it defined as a danger to someone's life or to prevent a serious crime.

The woman was ordered to pay her speeding ticket.

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 05:34 AM | Permalink

89 year-old Edna Jester from Blue Ash, Ohio, is facing charges for petty theft after taking the football belonging to her teenage neighbor that was in her yard.

Mother of the boy who owns the ball, Kelly Tanis, said she called the police because Jester has taken balls from her children before. She also said, "This time it was a ball that my son had just bought with his own money. He works and he makes his own money, and he bought that ball, and six days later she took it."

Blue Ash police said all they wanted was for Jester to give the ball back, they did not want to arrest her. However, she refused, saying "I was giving it back sooner or later, but not right now, so they could make a laughing stock out of me."

Jester appears in court November 12th.

Newsnet 5

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:27 AM | Permalink

After years of evasion, Batman has finally been brought down by disapproving police officers. It was in Tampa, a long way from Gotham City, that the real identity of the caped crusader was finally revealed.

You may have thought it was mild-mannered Clark Kent but, no, behind the Batman Mask was 21 year old Walsh Ian Nichols, who apparently likes a night on the town and often patrols the nightclubs of Ybor City in his mask and cloak.

Still unaware that all the Caped Crusader's actions are made for the greater good, police arrested batman for wearing his mask on a public right of way.

Nichols was released a few hours after his arrest on $500 bail. But his alter-ego, Batman, is prepared for all eventualities, and undeterred by police keeping his mask as evidence, he told the St. Petersburg Times that he has a spare.

Wink News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:03 AM | Permalink

AN Egyptian donkey has been jailed for stealing corn on the cob.

When the director of a local agricultural institute complained that somebody was stealing his crops, police set up a checkpoint. It was sometime later that the un-named donkey and his owner were apprehended. The donkey was found in possession of the institute's corn and sentenced to spend 24 hours in jail. His owner was allowed to go free on payment of an $11.40 fine.

Now, what's that about the law being an ass...

News.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:20 AM | Permalink

In England, so called 'Cops and Robbers' parties have been going on for years. Guests have to dress up as either a cop or a robber and, as often happens, the party-goers tend to be dressed as caricatures - well, it's no fun otherwise, is it?

In Southend, Essex, Converso Contact Center decided to hold a cops and robbers party as a team building event. Unfortunately, the team didn't have time to do very much building at all before their party was swarmed by armed police in bullet proof vests.

Apparently, a witness reported seeing two men in dark clothes taking guns into the building. The guns were very quickly discovered to be toys.

A British Bobby, who seemed to have had his sense of humor surgically removed, commented, "The two men involved clearly did not think about the implications of their actions. This was potentially a very dangerous situation and, as such, armed officers were deployed."

This is called a 'caught in an embarrassing cock-up' response.

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:44 AM | Permalink

Police followed their sergeant's orders to kick down the door and then entered the house with guns drawn. Room by room they searched the house but could find no trace of anybody, let alone the woman in distress who had been heard to call for help. And still the cries of distress continued, despite the apparent emptiness of the building.

Then, in a bedroom on the first floor, the mystery was solved. A caged cockatoo was crying "Help me! Help me!"

The bird, who goes by the name of Luna, had duped a host of 911 callers as well as the police. Completely unfazed by the entrance of the law enforcers, Luna simply said, "Hello."

Ten-year-old Luna, a blue-eyed umbrella cockatoo, has done this twice before and, on one occasion, caused neighbors to call police because they thought a baby had been left at home alone all day. It was just Luna practicing her baby cries.

NJ.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:50 AM | Permalink

Police in Norfolk, England, have been issued with a modern behavior guide and appearance code.

From this day forth, police are required to:

be polite and courteous
dress appropriately
be tidy
not use personal mobile phones in public view
not keep their hands in their pockets (no trouser pool then)

Furthermore, senior staff are encouraged to avoid the 'too busy syndrome' and address negative trends, such as:

frequent sickness
poor discipline
low workload,
sloppy paperwork
laziness

So, that's one county down and only another 46, 81, or 37 counties to go - depending on how you count them. If we can't get our Counties sussed, what hope is there for our police forces?!

Of course, the police could count the counties but then they risk falling foul of the 'too busy syndrome.'

Lancashire Evening Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:22 AM | Permalink

not even in the police force.

The woman, handcuffed and stowed into in the back of a police cruiser, was suspected of driving a stolen vehicle. Having apprehended her and secured her, the arresting police then started to run checks to see if the car the woman had been driving was, indeed, stolen. They left the engine running.

It was during these checks that the woman managed to slip her cuffs and wiggle into the front of the police car and drive off. Luckily for the police officers, she crashed just a short time later.

Two patrolling officers, seeing the crash, ran to help what they thought was a fellow officer in trouble and discovered the woman. They put two and two together, amazingly they didn't come up with five, and the game was up.

The woman faces charges of theft over $5,000 and impaired driving. Damage to the police cruiser was estimated at $3,500.

London Free Press

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:08 AM | Permalink

A rehabilitation program at a high security jail in Bosnia encouraging prisoners to breed pigeons was one of those projects that seemed like a good idea at the time. However, one of the pigeons is now in custody and behind bars, accused of smuggling drugs.

Wardens at Zenica prison grew suspicious when four prisoners became visibly intoxicated shortly after the pigeon was spotted landing on a window-ledge. The wardens' suspicions were confirmed when the bird's owner and three other inmates later tested positive for heroin, which it is thought had been carried in by the pigeon in tiny bags attached to its legs.

The pigeon will remain behind bars until prison authorities decide what to do with it.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:20 AM | Permalink

Heidi Dalibor from Grafton in Wisconsin has been arrested and booked for not paying her library fines. Although Dalibor had ignored calls from the library, together with their letters and a notice to appear in court, she was still surprised when officers with a warrant knocked on her door, cuffed her and took her to the police station to be fingerprinted and photographed

The 'criminal' had to pay around $30 in unpaid library fines; it cost her mother rather more, at $172, to get her out of custody.

So what marvelous tomes of knowledge cost the Dalibor's over $200 for the pleasure of reading? White Oleander and Angels and Demons. Oh, dear; it wouldn't have been quite so bad if it had been great literature that had cost her so dear.

I dread to think what this literary escapade cost the State.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 05:24 AM | Permalink

In Germany, two inventive teenagers added a lawnmower engine, bicycle brakes, and a metal frame to a revolving office chair and turned it into a something like a souped up go-kart.

But the German police haf vays of spoiling your fun. They confiscated the motorized chair and said that the inventors are being investigated over a variety of possible offenses, including defying insurance regulations, driving without a license and violating registration requirements. I don't suppose Ford had these problems!

I think its a wonderful invention - just think how much more you could get done in a day's work if your office chair was motorized!

My Way

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:44 AM | Permalink

...Don't Answer the Phone!

Christopher Kron has been dubbed 'the most honest suspected burglar' that Lee County Sheriff's Office has ever seen.

Kron was robbing a bar when the alarms went off; as they are prone to do, the alarm company rang the bar's phone - and Kron answered their call, giving his correct name. When he couldn't give the correct password, however, police were summoned.

What's more, Kron returned to the scene of his crime the next morning, by which time the bar owner had seen him on the CCTV system. Kron was identified and arrested.

Kron said that the robbery had taken place on his birthday - he stole one bottle of Grand Marnier - and also commented on how nice and professional the lady from the alarm company was.

Our birthday boy was charged with unarmed burglary of a structure without persons inside, and petty larceny.

First Coast News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:44 AM | Permalink

for their Neighbors!

Kerry Norris' boyfriend, Adam Hinton, must not go within 100 meters of her Brighton apartment.

Residents have been complaining for two years about thumping music, the sound of banging headboards, and screamed obscenities that come from the Norris home. The neighbors have also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard.

'The court granted the city council's request for an injunction banning Hinton from the apartment because Norris had ignored a previous court order demanding that she be more quiet.'

Who thinks the neighboring women are jealous because:

a) they want sex that makes them scream and the headboard bang - you can only live on memories for so long

and

b) they wouldn't dare sunbathe naked in the yard?

Daily Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:26 AM | Permalink

German judge, Brigitte Koppenhoefer, could not control her hysterics as she tried a case between warring neighbors. As she heard tales of egg fights and parcels filled with feces, she gamely controlled her rising laughter. Unfortunately, the laughter dam eventually burst when the neighbors resorted to name calling, they hurled epithets such as 'donkey face' and 'smelly bum.'

The smelly bum proved too much; she cracked up and had to leave the court. On her return she threw out the 'ridiculous case.'

Perhaps not such a dumb justice after all.

Metro

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:35 AM | Permalink

This one takes a pop a lawyers, but I couldn't resist bringing it to you.

The conversation took place between a policeman and the defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir.'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

PoliceLink

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

A thirteen year old girl being transported in a prison van took advantage of the situation when her driver got lost. He left her in the van while he went to ask for directions. Not one to miss an opportunity like that, the girl scrambled into the driver's seat and drove away. She was shackled and handcuffed at the time.

Eventually, with the traffic against her and the Lynwood and State Police in full pursuit, the girl got boxed in at a junction and was arrested.

She was charged with aggravated fleeing and eluding, and possession of a stolen motor vehicle and is due to appear in Court on August 5th.

Chicago Sun Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:08 AM | Permalink

A woman from Springfield, Massachusetts has accused Wal-Mart, local health officials and Cox Health Systems of discriminating against Richard, her 10-year-old bonnet macaque. Debby Rose contends that Richard is no ordinary monkey but that he is a service animal that helps her curb public panic attacks that she says occur as a result of her social anxiety disorder.

Apparently, back in 2006, Health officials sent letters to restaurants and grocery stores, advising them not to let Rose in with the monkey. Rose also alleges that she and Richard were denied access to the offices of Cox Health Systems.

Rose's argument is that Springfield-Greene County Health Department lack the authority to decide that Richard is not a service animal under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Perhaps the social anxiety disorder is the least of Ms Rose's health problems.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:32 AM | Permalink

Sandusky Sheriff's Office were quick to respond to a report of cows on the road on Saturday. A deputy sent to the area sorted the problem out pretty swiftly too, he accidentally struck one of the cows as he was driving to the scene. Well, darn thing ran into the road!

The cow's owner came to the scene and the family gathered the rest of the other cows that had become loose.

The deputy was not hurt in the crash. But the cow that was struck was taken away because of its injuries.

Steak for dinner again?

Port Clinton News Herald

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:51 AM | Permalink

Apparently, in Florida it is against the law to grab your husband's genitals and hold them in a vice-like grip! I wonder what led to that being put on the statute books.

Sadine Harris obviously wasn't aware of this law and having "gone busting into the bedroom and grabbing her husband'scrotch and refusing to let go" she has been charged with felony domestic battery.

Mr Harris "had to pry Sadine's fingers off of his his genitals and force her off of him," according to the deputy's report.

Wouldn't you just love to hear the 911 call for that one?

nwfdailynews.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:14 AM | Permalink

THIS WOMAN WAS!

Officers in Kentucky say they have arrested a woman who traded sex for a $100 gasoline card and other 'luxuries.'

The woman, thirty four year old Angela Eversole, was charged with prostitution and doing business without an occupational license. She pleaded not guilty at her arraignment yesterday. The man who paid the woman has also been arrested.

Cincinnati.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:27 AM | Permalink

If you thought US law was an ass, just be glad you don't live in Holland!

A new Dutch law has banned the smoking of tobacco inside cafes and restaurants but it continues to be perfectly legal to smoke cannabis. The result? Smokers in the renowned coffee shops of Amsterdam, where people flock from all over the world to buy and smoke cannabis legally, are now having to roll their joints and fill their pipes with pure marijuana.

Those who cannot take the effects of smoking their leaf of choice in its purest form are having to go out onto the streets, where smoking tobacco is legal, so they can 'dilute' their joints. However, smoking marijuana out on the streets is illegal.

And how is this policed?

Apparently, the Dutch Food and Consumer Product Safety Authority has trained 200 inspectors to detect the difference between a "mixed or a pure joint."

The world is going to pot.

Daily Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:10 AM | Permalink

Eighteen officers from London's Metropolitan Police Force, the largest force in Britain, have been handed written warnings for bragging on a Facebook site about crashing cars and hitting pedestrians.

The policemen joked about injuring members of the public on a site called Look I’ve Had a Pocol – slang for police collision.

Before it was disbanded in January, the site had 200 members located around the world. One pictured showed a police vehicle in an accident with a small white car, along with the comment, "I did him a favour. At 82 years old you just shouldn’t be on the road and if you are, then most certainly don’t go through a green light into the path of an innocent police car."

Another entry read, "Ran over a drunk. I believe he has a permanent limp and a hefty payout. I was given a three-month holiday from job driving. Ooh, bummer."

Ah, makes me proud to be British!

The Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:29 AM | Permalink

In Florida,, police used a laser to measure exactly how far away a suspect was when witnesses said he masturbated and laughed at them. I want to know why...

Apparently, the man was standing just inside an opened second-story window at his home, holding the relevant body part in his hand and laughing. Police were called and when they arrived the man was lying on his bed in the upstairs bedroom. He was, he said, just preparing for a post-shower nap but officers reported that his hair was not damp, and it did not appear that he had recently showered.

The distance between the witnesses' doorstep and the man's bedroom window was 80 feet, an officer said after measuring it with a certified laser instrument.

The man said he was peeing out of his bedroom window, and not masturbating at all. Well, that's good to know.

North West Florida Daily News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 05:53 AM | Permalink

AND LIVING IN FLORIDA

Police in Bradenton, Florida, are coming under pressure over their penchant for stopping walkers at night in one part of the city for not using sidewalks and for walking on the wrong side of the road,

The police support their stance by saying that:

"A review of 30 recent pedestrian cases in which the person was walking on the wrong side of the road shows more than half of the walkers were black or Latino men walking between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. in Ward 5, which includes the 14th Street West corridor and side streets that often do not have sidewalks."

As an example, let me quote the case of Bradenton teenager, Justin Claudio. Claudio was cited this month for not walking on the left side of the road, facing oncoming traffic, on a block where there are no sidewalks. A week later, Claudio was stopped again in the 2000 block of 13th Street West.

Claudio was arrested on charges of obstruction and culpable negligence - for exposing officers to injury

Interestingly, it is not clear what time of day the study quoted was undertaken, nor how the cohort was stratified.

I've had a brilliant idea! How about installing sidewalks?

TBO

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:07 AM | Permalink

... because Willie Parker is back behind bars, where he should be. He's been on the run for 47 years but we can all sleep safe in our beds tonight because he's been recaptured.

Willie Parker, who is 81 years old and suffers from several ill health issues, escaped in 1965, after serving only one quarter of his original sentence for robbery with a deadly weapon.

Parker, nicknamed Pops by inmates of Maryland Jail where he currently resides, was tracked down as part of a Maryland effort to clear outstanding warrants. He had been living in Clinton and when he was found by U.S. marshals he was in bed at a home, being cared for by a nurse.

If he's not charged for the escape, he could be eligible for a parole hearing.

Fay Observer

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:55 AM | Permalink

or maybe it should be Dumb Justice

The following ad recently appeared on the German eBay site:

"Offering my nearly new baby for sale, as it has gotten too loud. It is a male baby, nearly 28 inches (70 cm) long and can be used either in a baby carrier or a stroller."

The mother insists the ad was a joke, and I have to say I was mildly amused. The authorities, however, have placed the baby into care.

Despite appearing for two-and-a-half hours, and being priced to move at just 1 Euro, no offers were received.

Oh, come on, don't say it has never crossed your mind!

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:02 AM | Permalink

NEWS: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE STUFF YOU MOW IN THE SUMMER!

In Canton, Ohio, the City Council are planning on making a second offense for not cutting your grass punishable by a fine of up to $250 and up to 30 days in jail. High grass is, apparently, defined as anything over 8 inches tall - there's me thinking it was a new term for really potent weed!

The council will be pursuing the most egregious high-grass violators "with vigor." 'Course, once those high-grass violators are behind bars, the grass is gonna get even higher - I mean, whose gonna cut it then?

CantonRep

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:06 AM | Permalink

One from England now...

Keith Hurst spent 18 hours in a police cell after allegedly dropping an apple core as he went to the pharmacy to get something for his wife. He was arrested by a Police Community Support Officer (aka pretend policeman) but refused to pay the on the spot fine of £50 (that's $100, give or take). British police are nothing if not persistent though, when Hurst left the pharmacy, five (yes that's 5) policemen were waiting for him.

He had his fingerprints taken and appeared in court, charged with littering and obstructing a police officer. The obstruction charge was dropped, but Hurst will go on trial for the littering. Personally, I believe this man should be compensated for taking the time to plant a new apple tree.

The Sun

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:28 AM | Permalink

Frank Lasser, aged 82 and suffering from pneumonia, was recovering in hospital following open heart surgery on Saturday. There he was, quietly lying on his hospital bed when, out of the blue, he was zapped three times by police carrying tasers.

Lasser said, "I was laying on the bed by then and the corporal came in, or the sergeant, I forget which it was, and said to the guys, 'OK, get him because we got more important work to do on the street tonight.' And then, bang, bang, bang, three times with the laser, and I tell you, I never want that again."

Apparently, nurses had called police when Lasser became delirious and pulled a knife out of his pocket. He explained that, when he can't catch his breath because of the pneumonia he becomes delusional. He had no recollection of pulling the knife, and couldn't explain why he had done so.

As Lasser said, there were three RCMP officers in his hospital room and they should have been able to subdue an 82 year old without the use of tasers.

Do you think its safe to use tasers around oxygen? I mean, don't they set off a spark or something?

CBC Canada

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:58 AM | Permalink

How do you punish a priest for having sex with inmates while a chaplain at a women's prison? Easy, you sentence him to four years in a male prison!

Vincent Inametti was sentenced after admitting to two cases of sexual abuse while working as a chaplain at Federal Medical Center Carswell in Fort Worth. Judge Terry Means said that Inametti would face a higher authority than the court over his breach of the trust of the federal prison and breaching the trust invested in him as a priest. Well, I can see his point, you only expect priests to have sex with altar boys don't you.

See what I mean about the punishment fitting the crime - he's been sentenced to having four years of sex with males for having sex with females. It's pure poetry!

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:59 AM | Permalink

The British police are sending their crack troops to speak to a front-seat car passenger who bared his buttocks as the car passed a speed camera. They want to charge him with not wearing a seat belt and public order offenses.

It is not a crime in Britain to bare your bum at speed cameras, but as road safety campaigners have commented: "this prank could have been a real distraction from the driver and that is not something to laugh about."

Oh goodness, we'll have none of that nonsense - no laughing round here!

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:52 AM | Permalink

Police are on the look out for a knife wielding rabbit in the English village of King's Somborne. On four occasions somebody, or something, has cut through the netting protecting Frank Fahy's broccoli patch, each time stealing a single head of the health-promoting green vegetable. Seventy-one year old Mr Fahy reported the thefts to the parish council and local police officer, Martin Benton, said the crime should be taken very seriously.

Quite so, as Mr Fahy said, each head is "worth about 50p. It is a bit distressing. My wife and I like to eat our broccoli. I have now put up a notice saying I have reported the thefts to the police."

David Bidwell, Chairman of the Parish Council, commented, "It sounds trivial, but Frank has been the victim of theft. It is very disappointing to grow something on an allotment and have it taken away. At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But on closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."

Well, we don't think they carry knives, but nobody knows that for sure. That's the fundamental error in the plan so far, rabbits probably can't read either, so they are unlikely to take notice of Mr Fahy's warning sign.

Daily Mail

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:41 AM | Permalink

Warning: This is a story that will make you inwardly snigger, and then feel guilty cos you did!

In 2002, Huey Granger filed a report with local police claiming that his daughter had been attacked by her boyfriend. Granger is, apparently, mentally disabled. While Granger was at the police station, officers Keith Peterson and Jeff Thames decided to give him a "lie detector test" to check out the veracity of his story. The test involved putting a lampshade on Granger's head and attempting to get him to change his story.

Granger is now asking for $2 million in a civil lawsuit against the two men - the City have already wriggled out of the situation by saying that, as there was no documented "pattern or history of abuse" they could not be held responsible for the officers' actions.

At a hearing on Friday, Granger said, "I''m asking for $2 million tax free in my pocket and my insurance paid for the rest of my life."

Hmm - when will the light go on that he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting that?

The case is scheduled for November 3rd this year.

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:49 AM | Permalink

I really couldn't decide which section this one should be posted under; I eventually settled for Dumb Justice because some lawyer is actually working on this case!

A Tunisian family are claiming that their 20 year old daughter was the victim of phone sex rape! This has been confirmed by a doctor who claims that, following the incident, the girl's hymen was absent - despite the fact that she was a virgin. Yeah, right!

Anyway, the story goes that the girl was indulging in phone sex with a 30 year old man, when she was heard to scream out; she says that she experienced vaginal bleeding.

Perhaps she misunderstood the phrase 'phone sex.' Ouch!

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:32 AM | Permalink

...THE DEPUTY SHOT HIMSELF!

Sergeant Wade Johnson, of Holmes County Sheriff's Office was recovering in hospital yesterday morning, after accidentally shooting himself in the pelvis.

The incident happened when Johnson responded to a call from the local Burger King, apparently, he was removing or repositioning his secondary weapon when it discharged. The bullet passed through his abdominal organs and lodged in one of his pelvic bones.

Hmm - is that your secondary weapon, or are you just pleased to see me?

Coshocton Tribune

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:37 AM | Permalink

...GOODNESS, GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

When police called to a disturbance in Ontario fired a taser at a 31 year old man, they didn't know that he had a "flammable object" object in his pants. The stun-gun ignited whatever it was, causing burns to the man's hand and thigh that necessitated hospital treatment.

It will be a while before he causes any further disturbances.

TheSpec.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:04 AM | Permalink

Twenty-one year old Joey Van den Broeck was charged with assaulting his girlfriend and resisting arrest, and was summoned to appear in court.

When Van den Broeck failed to arrive for his hearing, the judge chose to continue the trial in his absence, handing down a sentence of eight months in prison, together with a $900 fine.

There was a slight problem though - Van den Broeck had died in a car crash. On balance, I suspect he'd be happy to pay his fine and do his time.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:33 AM | Permalink

I've labeled this one Dumb Justice, but I'm not really sure where it belongs!

A pre-packed building was delivered to the Austrian village of Traismauer. The packages contained component parts of an anti-crime youth center, purchased by the local authorities in an attempt to get kids off the street, thereby halting a rising tide of vandalism. Unfortunately, in the few hours between delivery of the flat packs and the arrival of workmen to erect the building, the packages were stolen.

Police are not ruling out the possibility that the thieves were the very children that the building was purchased to help.

Well, that deduction wasn't really rocket science, was it!

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:35 AM | Permalink

A deputy sheriff who slapped another deputy's backside has been slapped in return - with a 45 day suspension from duty. It may seem a harsh penalty for a seemingly trivial crime, but the slappee quit his post after the slapper slapped him.

The slapper's attorney is quoted as saying, "It's like executing somebody for blowing their nose and not washing their hands."

Yes, quite...

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:26 AM | Permalink

BUT COULD YOU COME BACK AND SERVE ANOTHER YEAR IN PRISON PLEASE?

Sara Jane Olson, a former member of the Symbionese Liberation Army, was released on parole from prison last week.
This week she has been asked to return to serve another year! The reason? A 2004 miscalculation had resulted in the militant being released a year too early.

Olson, 61, was detained at Los Angeles International Airport on Friday night and told her right to leave the state had been rescinded. She will be returned to the same prison in central California that she walked out of Monday and will not be eligible for release until March 17, 2009

If this had happened two weeks later it would have made a wonderful April Fools trick.

MSNBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:42 AM | Permalink

Apparently, Gianna Didiana, aged 17, was extremely upset when Judge Dana McReynolds imposed a $2,000 speeding fine on her. I'd have thought that if she could get to 17 years of age with a name like that, she could deal with anything. Gianna Didiana - it makes me think of the Clapping Song, you remember the one:

3, 6, 9 The goose drank wine
The monkey chew tobacco on the streetcar line
The line broke, the monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little rowboat

It sure is a day for digressing today, back to the speeding fine:

An Illinois State Police trooper was coming off the Geneseo exit onto Interstate 80 eastbound on Jan. 21 when Ms. Didiana drove past the state trooper in a Mercedes Benz at 120mph!

For doing 55mph over the speed limit, Gianna Didiana was fined $2,000, sentenced to 240 hours community service and, get this, had to go to jail for 6 hours.

That's why this is also filed under Dumb Justice - 6 hours, what on earth will that achieve! Should have sent her to heaven in a little rowboat...

Quad Cities Online

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:51 AM | Permalink

Legal eagle readers of this blog might find the following story a little to close to home... if you have a sensitive character, you should move swiftly on.

A root vegetable was at the root of a bomb scare at a law office that lasted for hours. An employee at the office (name withheld to protect the not so innocent) called 911 last week after opening a U.S. Postal Service box and finding a suspicious gift bag inside.

The bomb squad were called, and they brought in a robot to carry the package outside to the parking lot. X-rays showed no signs of an explosive, but bomb technicians decided to detonate the package with a water cannon just to be safe.

After that, they opened the box.

They found a turnip, wrapped in lettuce-green tissue paper inside a sandwich bag.

The intended recipient of the turnip bomb has not come forward for identification. Well he (or she) wouldn't would they.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:57 AM | Permalink

It was an ordinary Sunday night in Sydney, Australia, when two police officers saw a stolen silver Toyota driving erratically along the highway. As the car had allegedly been used in a nearby armed robbery, the two officers gave chase.

The woman driver and her male passenger had two collisions before smashing into a sign at a petrol station, at this point the driver made a run for it but she was caught by one of the officers. However, the male passenger managed to escape, before doubling back to the petrol station. Where he got into the empty police car and drove away.

Surprisingly, police chief Arthur Katsogiannis denied the force had been left red-faced by the theft, commenting that we need to put things into context put things in context and say what a good job the police officers did. He did, however, concede that police officer training stipulates the importance of removing the keys from the ignition.

smh.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:21 AM | Permalink

THEN TRIES TO SUE CASINO FOR $20 MILLION BECAUSE THEY BREACHED THEIR DUTY OF CARE!

Arelia Margarita Taveras was ambitious - a high flying lawyer and a television presenter who destressed by going to Atlantic Casinos. Eventually though, the gambling became a source of stress as it spun out of control, and the only way she could finance her addiction was by rifling her clients' accounts.

As the grip of gambling worsened, Taveras would go days at a time at the tables, not eating or sleeping, brushing her teeth with disposable wipes so she didn't have to leave. She says that her losses total about $1 million.

Now she's gambling in a different league - playing with the big boys. She is mounting a $20 million racketeering lawsuit in federal court against six Atlantic City casinos and one in Las Vegas, claiming they had a duty to notice her compulsive gambling problem and cut her off.

Having lost her law practice, her apartment, her parents' home, and got in debt to the IRS to the tune of $58,000, I suppose she feels there is nothing less to lose; she even considered swerving into oncoming traffic to kill herself.

I think it would be far less selfish if she was to jump from a tall building - swerving into oncoming traffic might kill other people too.

CB13

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:08 AM | Permalink

Whatever you do, if you live in Beloit always return your library books on time!

Keely Givhan had the temerity to hang on to her books longer than she should have done and it cost her six days in jail!

Beloit Public Library director Dan Zack said when books aren't returned, the library sends three overdue notices. After the third notice, a citation is sent that could include a court date.

Givhan said she was in the process of moving so she never got the notices. She then had the misfortune to be pulled over for a traffic violation - the officer discovered her outstanding warrant and took her to jail.

Givhan said she and her family were unable to afford the fine imposed for the overdue books, so she was kept in jail for a total of six days.

Captain Bill Tyler said he realized that this might seem like an overreaction but insisted that, "a municipal fine is a municipal fine, and failure to pay for any reason can result in an arrest warrant being issued."

In England we call people like that 'Jobsworths' and Captain Bill Tyler is certainly in line for the Jobsworth of the Year Award!

Channel3000

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:14 AM | Permalink

WHEN INVESTIGATING A SUSPECTED DRUGS LAB...

It all started when a security firm responded to a burglar alarm at a house in Hamilton, New Zealand. On arrival at the site, they discovered a still , which they believed was being used for the manufacture of illegal drugs.

Acting on their tip-off, police arrived at the house mob handed. They descended on the site of the alleged factory in several marked and unmarked cars and cordoned off a section of the road, They were accompanied by firefighters.

This large accumulated group of public service workers must have been mightily embarrassed when the 'lady of the house' told them. "it's my husband's bloody ginger beer set-up."

Just another small beer day in Hamilton, New Zealand where, apparently, life is all pop and no fizz.

Stuff.co.nz

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:44 AM | Permalink

Livia Kovacs, who works as a policewoman for the Budapest police force, has received her marching orders following her appearance in a Triple X rated movie. Kovacs played the part of a dominatrix who uses her police handcuffs and a truncheon during a wild sex session. Unfortunately for the aspiring actress, the film was seen by one of her colleagues, who reported her to senior officers.

Isn't that a pot and kettle situation? If Kovacs was sacked for appearing in the movie, shouldn't the filmgoer be sacked for watching porn?

Anyway, no matter, Ms Kovacs is reported to have said, "I don't care about being fired. Since news spread about my acting debut I have been flooded with offers from producers to do more films." Must have been a seminal performance then.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:03 AM | Permalink

BUT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE THEY WEAR A BLACK COCKTAIL DRESS, FISH NET STOCKINGS, HIGH HEELS - AND DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE!

A Boston-based federal bankruptcy judge, who has just announced his resignation, was recently arrested for drunk driving. At the time of the arrest, he wore a black cocktail dress, fish-net stockings and high heels. He was picked up after rear-ending a pick up truck; dressed like that I suspect that it wasn't a pick up truck he was intending to rear-end.

The police records of the arrest don't make any mention of his clothing, other than to comment that "he had a difficult time locating his license in his purse." A friend of mind has commented that the root cause of this matter is very clear - if you dress like a woman, you drive like one.

Hmm...

Union Leader

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:37 AM | Permalink

Brian Sterner was arrested on a traffic violation and taken to Orient Road Jail in Tampa, Florida, by Deputy Charlette Jones. Thing is, Sterner is a quadriplegic and, although he can drive, he needs a wheelchair to get about. It seems that Deputy Jones didn't believe it possible for a quadriplegic to drive a car so, when she saw Sterner in his wheelchair, she walked behind him and took hold of the handles, and tipped him out.

Then, to rub salt into the wound, while Sterner was on the floor, deputies frisked him.

Understandably, Jones has been suspended without pay. The report goes on to say "she has not been officially terminated." Well, I should hope not - what she did was despicable, but the death sentence is a bit OTT!

Sterner says it's incredibly degrading and it’s an example of how poorly trained the Hillsborough Sheriff's Office is. He adds, if they’re trying to figure out if somebody needs to be in a wheelchair or not, there are many other ways to do it than to dump somebody on their face.

Quite. Don't try this at home, kids.

tampabays10.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:19 AM | Permalink

The ABC network are facing a proposed fine of $1.4 million for alleged indecency for broadcasting an episode of NYPD Blue that featured a woman's buttocks and the side of one of her breasts before the 10 p.m. watershed.

ABC are opposing the fine (well, they would, wouldn't they) because they say the true to life storylines of this critically acclaimed drama were well recognized.

$1.4 million is a lot of money for a bum and just half a boob, I dread to think what a whole boob would cost.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:10 AM | Permalink

In July, 70-year-old Betty Perry was arrested, handcuffed and briefly jailed for declining a ticket for failing to water her lawn. But, on Friday of last week she agreed to resolve her case by pleading guilty to disorderly conduct charge and paying a $100 fine, as well as serving six months probation. I think this is just plain ridiculous, but its not as ridiculous of what she would have faced had she not agreed to the disorderly conduct charge.

Perry faced a charge of resisting arrest because she refused to give her name, accept a citation or allow herself to be handcuffed on her front steps. Meanwhile, rapists, muggers, and murderers are getting away with their crimes!

Oh, and Perry has now started to care for her lawn - I'd just let the bloody thing grow wild and start keeping wild animals in it!

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:26 AM | Permalink

A 47 old teacher in Sweden was incensed when one of her boy students covered the blackboard with swearwords and sexual drawings - so she retaliated by flashing her breasts! She claimed that there was nothing sexual in this action, it was simply a response to the boy's rudeness. She said, "I just snapped. I was trying to get him to stop writing and drawing filth on the blackboard." Yes, well I'm sure he did stop writing, I mean, you would, wouldn't you.

She was convicted of sexual harassment but cleared of charges that she groped two other boys' buttocks and genitals, as the court decided that the boys' evidence was not reliable. Additionally, the teacher lost her job and was ordered to pay $800 to the boy as compensation for his trauma at seeing her breasts.

Either her tits were really ugly, or the law is an ass.

Metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:28 AM | Permalink

Grace Saenz-Lopez, a small-town mayor in the state of Texas, has resigned following the revelation that she stole her neighbors Shih Tzu dog, changing its name from Puddles to Panchito in the process.

Saenz-Lopez looked after Puddles/Panchito while her neighbors went on vacation; the day after the dog's owners set off, the erstwhile mayer called to tell them that the dog had died. The dog was let out of the basket when a relative of the neighbors saw Puddles/Panchito in a dog grooming parlor.

Saenz-Lopez, mayor of Alice since 2003, was indicted January 18 on two felony counts of tampering with evidence and concealing evidence.

As for poor Puddles/Panchito - he's just hoping that the next person to steal him will give him a sensible name.

The Denver Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:32 AM | Permalink

In Laramie, Wyoming, three 13-year-old girls have been cited for "hurling missiles" - an adult infraction covered by city ordinances. What did they do to attract such a charge? They threw French fries at lunch time! Yeah, its a pain in the butt when kids do that but we've all been guilty of the same or similar and, so far, WWIII hasn't broken out because of it.

Police Chief Bob Deutsch said "They saw it as really the planning of a riot, when you think about it." He was moved to make this remark because the school had been warned about throwing food around on the previous day - following rumors of an impending food fight.

Do you know what? Even the American Civil Liberties Union got involved! What next - suicide chip throwers?

kmov.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:23 AM | Permalink

According to the arrest log at Sacramento County Sheriff's Department, Mickey Mouse was arrested twice within a one hour period this month - once for DUI and once for driving on a revoked license. The Mouse is described as a 47-year-old African American man standing 5-feet, 9-inches and weighing 190 pounds. He apparently lives in Anaheim, works as a bartender and goes under various aliases, including Donnie Duck and Buzz Lightyear. This is not The Mouse's first brush with the law - back in 2005, he was arrested on felony drunk driving charges.

You have to wonder that he didn't crack before really, it must cost a fortune keeping Minnie supplied with all those white shoes.

(Apparently, trainees learning to use the system make up names - hence Mickey's criminal record).

Sacbee.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:20 AM | Permalink

In Berlin, it has been reported that a police vehicle worth $150,00, and equipped with two video cameras for trapping speeding motorists, has been stolen.

The unmarked police car was involved in a high-speed chase on Sunday when the car they were chasing crashed and the occupants abandoned it. In an effort not to lose their quarry, the two police officers jumped from the car, leaving the keys inside.

Imagine their amazement when, as they were hot-footing it in pursuit of the miscreants, they were overtaken by their own car.

earthtimes.org

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:29 AM | Permalink

In England, police arrested a man when they found his fingerprints on the lock at the scene of a burglary. Admirable, eh?

Nope. The fingerprints belonged to locksmith, Lee Hicks, who had changed the locks AFTER the burglary had been committed.

Good old English law enforcement at its best.

The Sun who's headline I stole because it couldn't be bettered

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:46 AM | Permalink

A 47 year old man who, for the nearly twenty-seven years he served in jail insisted on his innocence, was telling the truth. Well, that's what the DNA evidence says, anyways.

Accused of rape, Charles Chatman was picked from a line-up by his alleged victim, who lived five doors away from him. At the time, Chatman says, he was toothless - a feature he thought would ensure that he could not be confused with the real assailant.

Well, he was confused and, if the news stories are anything to go by, so were the fourteen other 'criminals' in Dallas who have since been declared innocent thanks to DNA technology.

Not its not funny really is it - but it is noteworthy. Normal service resumed tomorrow!

Dallas News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:54 AM | Permalink

How do you get thirty policeman to go for a swim? You send one of them running across a frozen lake in pursuit of a robber. Well in Hungary you do, anyway.

In Sziglilget in West Hungary, Policewoman Ani Kosut was chasing a robber across a frozen lake when she fell through the ice. Help was, of course, summoned immediately but, as the newly arrived policemen tried to fish her out, they fell in as well and even more officers had to be called.

Thirty policemen ended up in the freezing waters before a team of fire fighters finally dragged them all to safety.

And, to add insult to injury, they didn't catch the robber.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:45 AM | Permalink

These are only sort of dumb criminals - we've all been in similar situations ('cept I, for one, haven't wielded a pistol!)

Police in Utah are on the look out for two men who stole beer, after not being allowed to pay for it. The two guys walked into the grocery store, picked up the beer and went to pay for it. As it was after 1 a.m. the clerk refused to sell it to them. So, I imagine in frustration, the men asked if they could steal the beer. The clerk's reply? "Yes, but Jesus is watching." The pair showed a pistol to the clerk, left $9 on the counter, and took the beer.

Now - they probably shouldn't have shown the pistol but, hell, they paid for the stuff. If they're caught, they stand to be charged with armed robbery.

P'raps Jesus had his eye on someone else at the time - I sorta hope so.

NewsDaily

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:24 AM | Permalink

An inmate who twice escaped from the Pueblo County jail filed a federal lawsuit Thursday, alleging that guards abused him and didn't do enough to stop him from breaking out.

The lawsuit, which seeks an unspecified amount of money, claims authorities "did next to nothing to ensure that the jail was secure and that the Plaintiff could not escape." Reading between the lines I suspect that what Scott Anthony Gomez, Jr. (the escapee) is really saying is that, if he wasn't subjected to abuse, he wouldn't try so hard to escape.

That's where the Dumb Justice tag comes in.

But, Gomez, who claims that that guards have sprayed him with pepper spray, shot him with a stun gun, and beaten and kicked him without provocation, needs to get realistic here. With this history, it is highly likely that guards will take an almost failsafe move to prevent another escape - by breaking both of his legs.

The Denver Channel

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:33 AM | Permalink

A railroad company has issued a driver with a minor summons for obstructing a railroad crossing, saying that he and his rental company would be liable for the damage caused by the obstruction, which can be estimated in the hundreds of thousands of dollars range.

A computer consultant inadvertently caused the obstruction by driving a rental car onto train tracks, as per the instructions his GPS unit gave him. A train was rushing headlong toward him, but he escaped in time and no one was injured.

A Metro-North Spokesman tells us that, following the GPS instructions, the driver had turned right and the car somehow got stuck on the tracks at the crossing. He jumped out and waved at the engineer in an attempt to warn him but the train slammed into the car at 60 mph, pushing it 100 feet down the track.

Five hundred passengers were stranded for more than 2 hours and 250 feet of rail track were damaged.

Hey, I know that this guy should have relied on what his eyes told him, rather than what the GPS said but I kinda think he's been punished enough. The threat of having to compensate the rail company to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars just serves to rub salt into his wounds. Or should that be gravel into his knees?

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:17 AM | Permalink

A Des Moines man, who called police several times to complain about visiting in laws, has ended up in jail on a $1,300 bond.

William Foster was arrested on charges of simple assault on a police officer and false reports to law enforcement authorities. Things started going bad for foster when his common-law-wife was in hospital and her relatives came to stay. An officer reports that, "All parties were extremely agitated and continued to argue loudly despite our repeated attempts to calm them. In our presence, Foster threatened to kill one of the ladies."

Because the in laws were invited guests, police said there was nothing they could do and left Foster to get on with it. However, he called police a further seven times, at one time reporting that he was being repeatedly hit on the head with a skillet.

Eventually the frustrated police arrested Foster, taking him to hospital to get his physical injuries treated before taking him on to jail. Call me cynical, but I suspect that the trip to jail and the apparent non-punishment of Foster's abusive in laws had something to do with that 'simple assault on a police officer.'

Has anybody reported this family to Jerry Springer I wonder - he'd love 'em..

Des Moines Register

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:02 AM | Permalink

Crystal Timpanaro, who was watching her boyfriend play golf in Summer 2006, is suing the Owl's Creek Golf Course for $1 million. The lawsuit claims that the poor design of holes 16 and 17 were responsible for her being felled by an errant golf ball; it also claims that Owl's Creek should have warned golf spectators about the hazards of the sport.

Sadly for Timpanaro, the direct hit to her left temple and eye left her seriously injured but, come on, every adult knows that playing golf entails hitting hard little balls into the air and that, sometimes, hard little balls don't go where they're supposed to!

Timpanaro's lawyer, Haig Kalbian, says, "There's a defect in the way the course is laid out and maintained. But for that, she may not have been hit by an errant golf ball."

Personally, I think the course's main defect is that they allow entrance to idiots like Timpanaro; the only design fault around here is the one in Timpanaro's brain!

Seemingly, Timpanaro is not the only idiot around - according to some reports, injuries and property damage from errant golf balls have prompted lawsuits across the country.

Back to Timpanaro herself - perhaps she should find a boyfriend who doesn't play with his hard little balls.

Hamptonroads.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:33 AM | Permalink

Now, we are all aware that pit bulls are dangerous dogs but a Memphis police officer has discovered a whole new hazard associated with the breed.

As part of a five-man team investigating car thefts, the officer knocked on the door of a home near the airport; the owner's response was to set loose his pit bull terrier. The officer tried to shoot at the dog, but ended up shooting himself in the foot. Following the episode, three people have been taken into custody and two pit bulls were taken away by animal control.

Oh, dear, life really is the pits sometimes, isn't it?

Eyewitness News

.

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:59 AM | Permalink

This story seems to be six of one and half-dozen of the other, so I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Six members of a family were arrested in an incident that began, benignly enough, over a pair of droopy jeans. Frantz Leger, aged 20, had returned to a mall where he was banned for violating its "Rules of Common Courtesy" back in August. His 'crime' was wearing his pants too low - something we've looked at before on this blog. Unbeknown to Leger, his return to the mall was a violation of that ban. Okay - simple so far, eh? But, this is where it all gets a bit silly...

Frantz Leger was with his parents, his sister and two cousins - all of whom attempted to stop the deputies arresting Frantz. The upshot of their resistance was that an estimated 20 deputies, two canine units and a police helicopter swarmed the area surrounding the mall's food court, and shutting down roads.

Now the Leger family say that the force used was not unrelated to the fact that they are Haitian, but the police say that is not the case and the situation arose because "the family got involved and tried to intervene and tried to resist the officers."

Sheesh! I bet it was cracking good fun to watch, but it all seems a bit dramatic over a pair of baggy pants.

Palm Beach Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:48 AM | Permalink

Back in August 2006, retired Judge Donald Thompson was convicted on four counts of indecent exposure and sentenced to serve four consecutive one-year sentences. Prosecutors alleged that he used a penis pump while presiding over trials.

In September of this year, Judge Thompson launched an appeal against his conviction, alleging a total of seven errors at his trial, including the use of illegally obtained evidence, improper jurors, violation of the hearsay rule and admission of improper evidence.

Thompson's attorney alleged that the prosecution altered the penis pump to make it work when it was presented as evidence; he also asked the court to take into account the fact that Thompson had been a judge for 24 years. Well, 24 years of pumping is bound to make the implement break down - Thompson should be thankful to the court for fixing it. In fact, I think he should write a thank you letter -

'Dear Sirs, I am writing to express my thanks to the Court for repairing my over-used penis pump....'

The former Judge, who has also forfeited his retirement pension due to the felony, is due to be released next spring.

Tulsa World

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:30 AM | Permalink

An 8 year old boy is being taken to court accused of causing a ski-slope collision, which allegedly left the other party. a 60 year old man, with a shoulder injury.

At the time of the incident, the accused was 7 years old and weighed 48 pounds. The injured party seeks $75,000 compensation for: physical therapy for a torn shoulder tendon, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by his wife, and other expenses.

How could such a lightweight incident result in such a heavyweight claim?

CBS News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

In Uganda, 100 people have been arrested for not having toilets in their homes, despite the fact the area is in the midst of a cholera epidemic that has already claimed the lives of 8 people. However, police spokesman Hassan Kasinje has been reported as saying that although it is illegal in Uganda to build a home without a toilet, it is not an arrestable offense. What is supposed to happen is that a health officer should instruct them to build or they can be cautioned.

I imagine that the health officers don't fancy wading through three feet of sh*t in order to pass on the instructions.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:15 AM | Permalink

Lack of fingerprints at the scene was used in defense of armed robber Moses M Streete. The jury were more observant than the police in this case, however, because, when they examined a coat during the trial, they found a money roll totaling $1,300, a rubber glove, and a bandage in one of the garment's pockets - all of which had, apparently, gone unnoticed by police, prosecutors and the defense.

Frederick County State's Attorney J. Charles Smith that the coat pockets had been checked before the trial by Assistant State's Attorney Deborah Kemp and no money had been found. And defense attorney Scott L. Rolle said he had seen the coat before the trial but hadn't gone through the pockets.

The store was obviously out of fine-toothed combs.

Fosters.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:12 AM | Permalink

A convicted criminal has moved in with a married couple against their wishes after giving their address in court as his home. I'm struggling with this one - could it possibly be true? In the UK we are so drenched in the sensational outpourings of our media that we now now longer recognize lies when we see them. No matter, here's the story as a direct cut and paste - nothing I could do to the text would make it seem any dumber.

Shane Sims, 19, has spent the last few days living with Brenda and Robert Cole after he was sentenced to a week's curfew for breaching a supervision order. But the couple claim the first they knew about it was when Sims, a friend of their daughter, moved in on Thursday – followed by security contractors who put a box in a bedroom to monitor his movements with an ankle tag.

Sims appeared before magistrates last Thursday where he admitted breaching a two-year supervision order imposed for assault.

He gave the Coles' Bristol address as his bail address but the Probation Service did not verify it.
Sims claims he was told he could stay by the Coles' 16-year-old daughter Tanya after he fell out with his father.

Now, forgive me for appearing a little bullish - but, if this 19 year old thug appeared at my house in a similar manner, I'm sure my husband would find ways to dissuade him from staying.

Metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:05 AM | Permalink

In Athens, the notoriously congested Greek capital, a pedestrian has been charged with damaging property after walking over a car that was parked illegally on the pavement. As the car was blocking the pavement and he couldn't get past, he took the only option open to him. He was seen by the car's owner and reported to the police. Who detained Tasos Pouliasis, the car-walker, and his girlfriend briefly in a police cell.

As Poulasis himself has commented, it is likely he will be tried for property damage but police did not even bother giving the car owner a parking ticket.

Bravo, Mr Poulasis, city dwellers the world over salute you. Continue to walk the walk.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:50 AM | Permalink

Earlier this year a woman was held for two days in a men's jail where officials mistook her for a man. Their mistake came to light when she was required to submit to a body cavity search, a routine procedure when processing male prisoners, according to the D.C. Department of Corrections.

The woman, Virginia Grace, was referred to as a male in every document received by the jail and one wonders why she hadn't said anything about the mistake. Could it be something to do with the reason for her imprisonment - Grace was charged with drug possession and failure to appear in court for a sexual solicitation charge. Perhaps being incarcerated with males provided an extra source of income.

Washington Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:16 AM | Permalink

A ten year old student in Marion County was arrested on Thursday, charged with possession of a weapon on school premises. Police said that school officials had found the girl cutting food during lunch using a knife that she had brought from home.

Even though other students said that the youngster had not threatened anybody with the knife, she was arrested and taken to the Juvenile Assessment Center.

They should assess the child as being a cut above the rest, recognizing that knives are tools, not weapons.

Local6.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:30 AM | Permalink

Susan Butts, of Marshalltown, Iowa, hit the headlines earlier in the year after she was caught stealing toilet paper from the county courthouse and, theoretically at least, she could have faced two years in prison for her crime.

Following a recent psychological evaluation, however, she has been declared incompetent (or should that be incontinent) to stand trial. Despite the ruling, the judge has said that Butt may still have to answer for her crimes if her mental condition improves.

Assinine.

Times Republican

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 03:49 AM | Permalink

You really couldn't make this one up! In North Wales, police dogs are being trained to headbutt criminals rather than use their teeth. It is feared that allowing a dog to bite a criminal is an infringement of human rights. Oh, please!

This form of dog policing, known as a toothless tactic, has been developed due to an increase in the number of compensation claims from people who have been bitten by the dogs.

Deputy Chief Constable of North Wales, Clive Wolfendale, tells us that, Instead of biting, the dog is muzzled and launches itself like a missile at the midriff of the target. Er, right. What happens then, when the criminal is running away from the dog?

I don't know about toothless tactic, it sounds like toothless policing to me.

K9

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:57 AM | Permalink

In the criminal trial of a Chinese man accused of counterfeiting products of Disney and Warner Bros, a clerical error has delayed the proceedings.

Summoned to appear as damaged parties at the trial were: Titty, Paperino, Paperina, Topolino - although you probably know them better as Tweety Pie, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Donald's girlfriend, Daisy. The witnesses failed to appear but it is not known if they will be prosecuted for this.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:08 AM | Permalink

In the Greek city of Patras, a legal battle is underway over a parrot's unpaid parking fine. Coco's perch occupies part of a metered zone outside a pet shop and local police have ordered his owner to pay a $650 fine. Thus far, the owner had ignored the fine and says that if Coco has to go back inside the shop he will die from lack of social interaction.

The deputy mayor of Patras insists that the parrot's security is of paramount concern to the council but refuses to back down. He has ambitious plans to use parking revenue for funding bicycle lanes and pedestrian zones.

I hope they don't wheel clamp him!

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:25 AM | Permalink

Bah Humbug from the Brits.

Car maintenance chain Kwik Fit is currently tied up in a bitter legal battle with the UK Performing Rights Society (PRS). It’s alleged that Kwik Fit’s mechanics allowed their radios to be played within earshot of the public. According to the PRS this constitutes broadcasting copyrighted work without a license, for which they are demanding £200,000 in damages.

As if this wasn't enough, when the PRS discovered that kids sing in a carol concert at the premises, they declared that the premises were under licensed and, unless they wanted to pay more fees, the kids must stick to old and out of copyright songs only.

Altogether now: 'tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la la

TorrentFreak

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

My mother always used to say that your misdemeanors catch up with you. Perhaps Meredydd Hughes didn't have the benefit of such a wise parent.

Meredydd Hughes is the chief constable of South Yorkshire Police and former chairman of roads policing at the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO). As such, he carried the responsibility for ensuring that Brits were sensible in their use of the roads. I was personally witness to an impassioned plea he made to a group of people he called 'petrolheads,' in which he encouraged them to keep to the speed limit. It was an appeal that was broadcast nationwide.

Imagine the delight in our hearts then when we heard the news that Meredydd (pronounced Mer-eh-dith) has been caught driving at 90 mph in a 60 mph limit zone!

I find it strange that he has been banned from driving for six weeks - I'm sure anybody else committing such an offense would be banned for much longer than that. Still, it gave us all a good laugh.

I suspect that from now on he will be known as Meredydd Petrolhead Hughes.

AFP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:20 AM | Permalink

I've put this in the Dumb Justice category because it certainly wasn't the criminal who were dopes in this instance!

From Berlin comes the news that two convicts on day-release from prison have been caught tending a healthy crop of 1,200 cannabis plants!

The felons were on furlough so that they could find jobs for when they were released. Methinks they had actually set up their own job creation scheme. The valuable crop was found in a warehouse and was, apparently, destined for export to Holland. Ten out of ten for initiative.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:11 AM | Permalink

If you're ever passing through Eastpointe in Michigan and feel the need for a pizza, just make sure you pay for it. The consequences for failure to pay can be dire.

I cite the case of 19 year old Jessica Gray, who was arrested after she and her friends refused to pay for a delivery of pizza, ribs, chicken, shrimp and a soda valued at $17.18. After taking delivery, Gray slammed the door and joined four other female occupants inside - ranging in age from 14 to 21 - in yelling insults and threats when the delivery boy didn't leave.

Attending officers "could hear the occupants laughing and whispering inside but refusing to answer the door. The officers advised the occupants that if they refused to come to the door, it would be opened by force."

True to their word, police used a battering ram to break down the apartment door and arrest Gray.

The words sledgehammer, crack, and nut spring to mind.

Newsok.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:44 AM | Permalink

In New South Wales, the following items have gone missing from the Police Department over the year 2006/2007:

six sets of handcuffs
11 cans of capsicum spray
40 portable radios
three police radios
uniform caps, jackets and rain suits
14 bulletproof vests
a police car

They're either planning a good night out or a re-enactment of Hot Fuzz.

News.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:57 AM | Permalink

In Thailand everything stops for the national anthem, which is played twice daily - at 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. The anthem is played on loudspeakers in train stations, parks and office buildings and most people stop what they're doing - except motorists.

A group of retired and active duty generals, who are part of the army-appointed parliament, are seeking to boost patriotism by ruling that motorists should also stop what they're doing, that is, driving. In support of the bill, which is designed to "preserve tradition and instill patriotism," retired General and NLA member Pricha Rochanasena is quoted as saying, "The national anthem lasts only one minute and eight seconds, so why can't motorists stop their cars for the sake of the country?"

They really haven't thought this one through, have they.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:24 AM | Permalink

At Wakefield High Security prison, in North East England, the officers on night duty have taken to wearing soft-soled shoes so as not to disturb the inmates beauty sleep. This follows complaints by some inmates about the noise made by boots on the slate landings.

However, Glyn Travis, a Prison Officers' Association spokesman said the approach also had security benefits. Because the soft shoes allows prison officers to patrol the prison landings without being detected, the theory is they are more likely to discover unwanted and illegal activities.

They've probably still got steel to-caps in 'em - I mean, would you want to get embroiled in a fight with a prisoner found indulging in illegal activities with your slippers on?

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:29 AM | Permalink

An undercover cop in Penang, Malaysia, was mistaken for a robber and held hostage by a 200 strong public crowd.

The cop was attempting to confiscate pornographic videos and DVD's from two peddlers when the crowd decided he was a robber and called the police. It was an hour before his fellow officers arrived and freed him, during which time the two porn peddlers escaped.

Hmm - if the cap fits...

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:15 AM | Permalink

Sheriff Winston Peterson of South Georgia thought that felons should pay for their crimes - literally. He charged inmates of his jail $18 per day for room and board. $27,000 is to be repaid to hundreds of inmates who paid the fees between 2000 and 2004

Peterson has pleaded not guilty and been released on $10,000 bond.

Not so dumb justice, eh?

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 12:22 PM | Permalink

Brisbane Judge, Helen O'Sullivan, has been awarded a Compassionate Judge Award for taking such a firm stance with a burglar who flushed two goldfish down the toilet. During the burglary, Shane Robert Stevenson also ripped a phone from the wall and stole a Playstation console, which he then smashed on the floor.

In her summing up, Judge O'Sullivan said that Stevenson's actions in flushing the fish down the toilet were "sick" and that he was a "very unattractive human being."

In presenting the award to Judge O'Sullivan, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said:

"It is our hope that this ruling will send a message to would-be animals abusers that cruelty to any animal - no matter how small or misunderstood - will be taken seriously."

Yeah right.

Brisbane Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 12:19 PM | Permalink

A police official in Madrid, Spain, decided that, in an effort to cut down on prostitution in the city, hookers wearing revealing clothing in public would be charged with indecent exposure.

The Chief Public Prosecutor had something to say about that though, namely that, as scanty clothing is simply a prostitute's uniform, the girls could not face criminal charges.

I wonder what they do wear on dress down Friday - do you think they dress up in woolly jumpers and big knickers?

Goofball

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:11 AM | Permalink

A policeman who 'accidentally' shot a football fan in Italy says he "shot in the air." I can't quite work out how that could be, given that the man was shot and killed while in a car with other fans.

More like flying pigs than flying cars.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:48 AM | Permalink

With the recent pomp and ceremony of the opening of the new parliamentary session and the Queen's speech, one could be forgiven for wondering how many members of parliament die from boredom. Not many I hope because, if they do, they will be breaking the law.

Dying in the Houses of Parliament is an offense, as is entering the Houses of Parliament while wearing armor.

Take note on your next visit to London.

AFP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 05:33 AM | Permalink

In China there are 55 strict new rules for the judiciary, including: Judges must not dye their hair, wear heavy make-up, tattoos or painted nails, grow long hair, beards or shave their heads. They are also to desist from using phrases such as: "Are you the judge or am I?" and "You will certainly lose this case."

Judges who break the rules have been warned that they face 'criticism and education,' what's more, serial offenders will be fired.

Spoilsports - Chinese courtrooms sound like a good and entertaining day out to me.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:30 AM | Permalink

I'm not sure how aware the international community are of the disaffection between the French and the English. In England, certainly, its something of a national sport to have a pop at the French and, having lived in Paris for a year, I know that much the same goes on the other side of the English Channel - or La Manche as the French insist on calling the stretch of water that separates us.

In a recent child custody case, two boys of a French mother and an English father insisted they did not want to live in France with their mother but would rather be in good old Blighty with dad. In an astonishing show of support, three of Britain's most senior judges decided that the boys had an inherent right not to live in France.

English readers shouldn't be too quick to applaud, however. It seems that the boys' reasons for preferring Britain were that they could walk to school, could have their own key and would not have to do as much homework.

Actually, in this instance, I don't think that justice was dumb at all - I just liked the story!

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:31 AM | Permalink

In England, a mother went through the heartbreaking ritual of having her son cremated, only for him to turn up alive a short time later.

Three days after 37 year old Thomas Dennison was reported missing, police found a dead body. The missing man's mother confirmed that the body was that of her son and, following an inquest, the body was cremated. Sad story, made even more depressing by the fact that, four days before the funeral, Dennison was found living rough, less than 100 miles from where he had disappeared. Police failed to tell the mother that her son had been found alive.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission are dead keen to find out what happened and will dig to uncover the truth. Meanwhile, I have a burning desire to find out why the mother identified the wrong boy as her son. I mean, I sometimes long to disown my own sons, but I don't think I'd go quite that far.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:13 AM | Permalink

Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge James Michael Shull of Gate City. Virginia, was unanimously removed from the bench by the Virginia Supreme Court last week.

Apparently, not only had ex-Judge Shull decided a custody dispute by flipping a coin, he had also asked a woman to drop her pants, and called a teenage defendant a 'wuss' and a 'mama's boy.'

It could have been worse, he could have ordered the parents in the custody battle to cut the kid in half.

MSNBC/AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:01 AM | Permalink

By rights, in some states of the USA, idiots we expose on this blog would be ineligible to vote, which, in my not so humble opinion, is as it should be.

Next week though, at least New Jersey idiots may be able to vote because, on Nov. 6, NJ voters will decide whether to replace insensitive phrasing in the state Constitution that characterizes people with disabilities as "idiots" and "insane." The original aim of the wording was to bar mental defectives from voting but the word idiot has a different meaning nowadays - as readers of this blog will know.

Mind you, the new wording - which says that voters must have "the capacity to understand the act of voting" - would still probably eliminate large percentage of our Dumb Criminals from the polls.

Newsday.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:22 AM | Permalink

In Dublin, Ireland, David Clarke was late for a wedding and was trying to make up some time. He was clocked driving down a road at 180 kilometers per hour and seemed certain to lose his license. But, when it came to court, his luck was in. The judge commented that 180 mph did seem excessive but that, when converted to miles, 'twas only 112 mph, which is far more acceptable.

And, for goodness sakes, the weather was dry, the roads were relatively clear and that road Clarke was driving down was uncommonly straight - so, the judge suggested, it was perfectly reasonable to break the legal speed limit in those circumstances.

I wonder if Clarke was the Irish driver who, when stopped by police for speeding was asked if he knew his wife had fallen out of the car about five miles previously. "Ah, thank God," he said, "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:26 AM | Permalink

In California hundreds of sex offenders are abusing more than just children; they are abusing the system too.

They are avoiding limitations on where they can live by declaring themselves homeless, whether they are or not.

The well publicized Jessica's Law, voted in a year ago, states that registered sex offenders cannot live within 2,000 feet of a school or park where children gather. That means there are not many places where they can legally live. This means that the much applauded law could conceivably result in sex offenders being more difficult to monitor than before.

I see a choice of management here - either round 'em all up, house them all in one place and let 'em abuse one another. Or shoot 'em all.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:35 AM | Permalink

James Harris, 37, was enjoying a day pheasant hunting when a hunting dog stepped on his gun and shot him in the leg.

The hunting group had downed a bird and Harris went off to retrieve it, laying his gun on the ground as he crossed a fence. At this point, one or more of the dogs stepped on his gun, causing it to fire.

The investigation is continuing. Why? Is the dog going to be charged with murder or are the cops looking at a reduced charge? Maybe, the dog could claim he was not of sound mind at the time of the shooting, what with all of those orders to fetch being shouted at him.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:58 AM | Permalink

Why, no, 'tis a female silhouette with her arm in a sling.

Don't folk get excited over little things? In supporting an amendment to legislation changing the height requirement for rear splash guards on trucks in Arizona, Democratic Rep. Theresa Ulmer of Yuma, said it fit with lawmakers' other efforts to crack down on pornography and sexual predators.

In support of her argument, Ms Ulmer said "I personally am tired of explaining to my 11-year-old son why they (women) are depicted on mudflaps , but not all women are 36Ds. He's very confused by that."

Ms Ulmer obviously has a small mind - and I wouldn't be surprised if she has a small chest as well.

Unsurprisingly, the amendment was defeated by 31 votes to 19

autoblog.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:01 AM | Permalink

In Southern California this week police arrested Floribel Hernandez Cuenca, 29, and Manuel Martin Sanchez Garrido, 44, of Montclair for selling a variety of unlicensed cheeses to the public. Ms. Cuenca was also arrested on felony cheese making charges.

CDFA Secretary A.G. Kawamura says that Illegally produced is cheese is serious threat to public health.

Forget the war on terrorism; the next big threat to the great American public is ... cheese!

Can you imagine Ms Cuenca's first day in jail. Some hulking career criminal comes up to her and asks her...

"hey doll, watchya in for?"

Least said, soonest mended?

Central Valley Business Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 02:34 PM | Permalink

A murderer who strangled four people to death, two of them children, and who has been on Alabama's death row for more than twenty years has received a stay of execution.

Daniel Lee Siebert, who suffers with terminal cancer, was due to be executed by lethal injection on Thursday but the execution was stayed because Siebert claimed his cancer medication would interact with lethal injection drugs and inflict unnecessary pain.

Erm - couldn't they just stop the cancer medication? I mean the guy's gonna die anyway.

ABC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:35 AM | Permalink

Some time ago there was a spate of Dumb Justice outlawing baggy pants. Well, its not over yet; Port Allen in Louisiana has just unanimously voted in a ruling stating, "Pants to be secured at the waist so they do not fall below the hips, expose underwear or create indecent exposure."

Maybe they misunderstood the use of the word Crack in Crack Kills?

Stars and Stripes

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:49 AM | Permalink

Following two salmonella outbreaks that were traced back to almonds, the Californian almond industry has been told that they must pasteurize their nuts.

Glen Anderson is a 72 year old organic pioneer farmer whose farm has been in his family since 1912. He is convinced that folk don't want anybody tampering with their nuts. He said that new legislation, which came into force on September 1st, was "being shoved down all of our throats."

A little hard to swallow, eh?

San Francisco Chronicle

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:00 AM | Permalink

The city of Pasadena has been ordered to pay $80,000 to a quadriplegic man. Cornell Greathouse sued because four policemen allegedly pulled him out of wheelchair and hung him over a 4-foot concrete wall in order to search him.

On Wednesday of this week the jury decided that the police officers were not culpable but they ordered that the City of Pasadena must pay $78,939.12 for failing to train officers on how to deal with a quadriplegic.

Why the guy was being searched isn't explained - maybe they thought he was going to pull a gun on them?

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:48 AM | Permalink

A 6-year-old child is facing a $300 for making a chalk drawing on the sidewalk.

The Department of Sanitation say they sent a standard letter to six year old Natalie’s mom following a 311 complaint call about the 'graffiti.' The standard letter read:

Please Remove The Graffiti From Your Property, Failure To Comply… May Result In Enforcement Action Against You.

Um, just a thought, but when I was a kid, the rain washed it all off within a few days.

Brooklyn Paper

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:23 AM | Permalink

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is suing the organisers of an Indian religious festival for building a canvas and papier mache replica of Hogwarts Castle. According to one of the organizers, they have also built a model of the Titanic but have not been sued. Well, no they wouldn't have, would they; the Titanic was real, Hogwarts only exists in the imagination. Does anybody else see the irony here?

Rowling and her publishers, Bloomsbury, are demanding payment of two million rupees to the British author before allowing the Indian Hogwarts to be completed.

Where's Dumbledore when you need him?

Ah, yes, he died, didn't he.

AFP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:45 AM | Permalink

Police responding to a domestic violence call, shot dead a fifteen year-old boy who was wielding a steam iron. Authorities said police opened fire on the boy during the confrontation in a second-floor hallway. The wounded boy was transported to Albert Einstein Medical Center with a gunshot wound to the chest area and was pronounced dead.

You have to admit that a fifteen-year old boy wielding any sort of iron is suspicious. I mean, any normal boy would have asked his mom to do it for him.

CBS

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

An amputated and embalmed leg that was sold at a North Carolina auction is to make its way back to its owner.

John Wood lost his leg in an airplane crash three years ago and, wishing it to be cremated with him when he eventually limped off of this mortal coil, he had it embalmed and kept it in a barbecue smoker, which he socked away in a storage unit. Unfortunately, Wood failed to keep up payments on the unit and the smoker was auctioned complete with leg. The initially shocked buyer of the smoker asked the authorities to remove the leg before realizing its Halloween money-making potential.

Not wanting his leg to be a conversation piece, Wood sought (and won) its return. Police decided that the leg's buyer, Shannon Whisnant, had given up ownership by calling authorities and asking them to take it away.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:27 AM | Permalink

According to Seat Belt Offender.

A North Carolina man, stopped for not wearing a seatbelt, has been charged with assault after coughing three times into the face of the patrol man who pulled him over.

The defendant claims that he developed a cough after his dog died and that the coughs in question were actually at the waist level of the patrol man and not into his face.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:03 AM | Permalink

In most places in the world, return the goods and you get a refund.
Return your drinks in Pennsylvania and it will cost you fifty bucks a time.

At El Azteca, a Mexican restaurant and bar near Pennsylvania University, any group of drinkers larger than six are required to sign a restrictive contract that lists a credit card number which can be used to pay for any damages incurred by inebriated clientèle. For every puking customer, a $50 fine is charged to the credit card.

Wouldn't it be far easier all round just to stop serving those patrons who appear to have reached their limit?

Washington Square News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:46 AM | Permalink

Three Mexican minors had been driving a pick up truck on a remote Californian highway when they were stopped by a Border Patrol agent, who suspected them of smuggling drugs. The Agent handcuffed them and put them in his patrol car while he searched the truck for marijuana. Unfortunately, he left his own car running, with the keys in the ignition, before leaving the three boys alone.

They, of course, promptly grabbed the steering wheel and drove the car straight back across the border to Mexico.

Well, you would, wouldn't you?

Mexican police located the patrol vehicle in a remote agricultural area near the border.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:53 AM | Permalink

China has banned sexually provocative sounds on air. They have also axed reality shows featuring sex changes and plastic surgery, and banned talent contests during prime-time.

Clever people, those Chinese.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:50 AM | Permalink

or so says police Lt. Bruce Ferguson in Lansing, Michigan.

He was moved to comment after a man tired of burglars nearly blew off his hand when bomb-like devices he set around his house exploded. After the explosions, Victor Iacobescu, 50, ran to a neighbor's house with a bloody towel wrapped around his right hand.

The police are planning to prosecute because they can't think of any legal reasons to be making bombs.

Play with fire, get burnt, my old mum used to say.

My Way

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:49 AM | Permalink

Farmer, Andrew Marsinko, has achieved fame as the subject of a slightly risque birthday card. However, the poultry farmer from Botetourt County doesn't seem to appreciate the fame that has been thrust upon him. Far from it, he has filed a complaint in Roanoke County Circuit Court seeking $7.5 million in damages from the photographers who took the photo, the companies that offered the photo as a stock image and the companies that created and sold the card.

Nope - he sure don't wanna be famous.

Apparently the case hinges on whether Marsinko signed a release for commercial use of the picture or not; he says he didn't. If he is proved right, then the goose of the defendants is well and truly cooked.

See the picture and the rest of the story here:

Roanoke

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:18 AM | Permalink

In the days of yore, when handsome young men fought for the hands of beautiful maidens, some maidens were less than ethical. Indeed, I knew of at least two maidens, perhaps not quite as pure as the driven snow, who indulged in serial engagements simply to get the rings. Get the ring, drop the man. Ah, the romance.

These erstwhile friends of mine would have problems in modern-day Tennessee, where Judge Charles D. Susano has proclaimed that If the marriage doesn't take place, the engagement ring should be returned to the one who gave it.

The decision stems from a legal battle over an engagement ring that began in a Knox County court. The battle concerned a ring given to Catharyn Campbell on Christmas Day, 2005 when her boyfriend, Jason Crippen, proposed. The couple eventually broke up and Crippen asked for his ring back. Campbell preferred to keep it and Crippen sued for its return. In the first hearing, the court ruled that the ring was a gift and, as such, Campbell was entitled to keep it. Crippen was dissatisfied with this ruling and went to appeal. This time things went his way and Campbell was ordered to return the ring.

She's better off out of it, after all, who wants to be married to a man who asks for his Christmas gifts back...

Tenessean.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:29 AM | Permalink

Apparently, Australia's legal community are involved in discussion over whether they should continue to wear the horsehair wigs favored by their British counterparts.

Given that, in New South Wales and Victoria, two of the States involved in this wrangle, temperatures can reach a high of 47 degrees Celsius, I would suggest that this is something of a hot debate.

It seems that New South Wales legal eagles are all for marching ahead, and have all but relegated their ringlets to the refuse. Their Victorian (State and attitude) colleagues, however, have been wary in waiving their wigs. A tardiness that has caused one Australian barrister to comment: "we are such troglodytes that we can't even move a foot ahead."

Damned if you toupee, damned if you don't.

AFP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:47 AM | Permalink

If you booked a limo to take you to some fancy uptown engagement, would you expect to ride in a vehicle that has four doors, seats five, including the driver, and has black leather seats, plus access to bottled water and a newspaper?

Would you, instead, be expecting a luxury vehicle, with top of the range exterior and interior, plus TV, bars, and refrigerators?

Or, maybe, as long as the vehicle that arrived to pick you up was cut and stretched and carried at least six to eight people in the back, you would be happy to call it a limo?

Something to ponder on a long night when you can't sleep eh? Especially when I tell you that all three of these descriptions have been given as constituting a limo in Hillsborough County, Florida. Admittedly, all by different people.

Mr Lieb, of TB Limo, is suing the Hillsborough Public Transportation Agency in the Federal Court. They are, he says, infringing his right to earn a living. His Prius is the four-door car of my first description. However, as it is a fuel-efficient green vehicle Mr Lieb thinks it should be classified as luxury, giving his customers the facility to save the planet while they ride. The Public Transportation Commission disagree, they say that Mr Lieb's car is a sedan. This means that he is not allowed to pick customers up in Hillsborough County, not even at the airport, although he can drop people off there.

The Public Transportation Commission think more in terms of TV's and refrigerators when defining a luxury vehicle. A competitor of Mr Lieb's just thinks along the lines of stretch and seating a lot of people. The truth is, nobody knows. A limo is in the eye of the beholder.

As Lieb's attorney aptly put, it the Commission's rules are so nebulous you could drive any size limo through them.

Tampa Tribune

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

In a classic story of jealousy and revenge, mouth-artist, William "Rusty" Redfern, had a fight with his girlfriend's ex and ended up head-butting him to the ground. The victim, Charles "Keith" Teer of Snellville, died within seconds of the attack. His attacker personally dialed 911 and drove to the police station to report the fight. It was, as they say, an open and shut case.

Or was it?

An autopsy revealed that Teer had died from a heart attack and that he had heart disease of which he had been unaware when alive. This means that, currently, there are no charges that can be brought against Redfern. Teer's friends and family accept that Redfern didn't intentionally kill his love rival but, they say, the fact that he died within seconds of the head butt links the two events. Intentionally or not, they believe that Redfern killed Teer and should, therefore, be punished.

What do you think?

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:05 AM | Permalink

Violent felon Larry A Crump escaped his incarceration at
Bourbon County Jail by fleeing through the mail box.

Some statistics for you here: the mailbox is 15" by 15" square; Crump is 6 feet tall and weighs 180 pounds.

He apparently escaped during a smoke-break. A video shows Crump escaping through the mail slot in the wall between the lobby of the jail and a guard's desk. The lobby leads to the front entrance of the jail. It took fifteen hours before anybody noticed that Crump was missing but, when the alarm had been raised, three bars were placed into the mailbox in an attempt to make it escape-proof.

Jail Administrator, Brent DeWeese, said the jail is now a non-smoking facility.

Kentucky.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:00 AM | Permalink

That was the response to Justin Delfino's emergency call reporting the firing of tear gas cannisters into his neighbor's home. Shortly afterwards, the besieged house erupted into flames; flames that threatened to engulf the entire neighborhood. And there wasn't a fire truck in sight.

The search warrant had been served by Sheriff Joe Arpaio's SWAT team because they believed a cache of stolen automatic weapons and armor-piercing ammunition was stored inside the house.

Strangely reminiscent of a much larger, but eerily similar, recent overreaction - no weapons were found.

Phoenix New times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:00 AM | Permalink

Following some "high-profile legal cases that garnered national attention," Merrimack High School Principal, Ken Johnson, has banned props from school year book photographs; a decision too late for Melissa Morin, who had already been photographed holding a red flower. Johnson turned a deaf ear to the pleas of Morin's mother saying, in effect, rules is rules

The case to which Mr Johnson refers concerned Londonderry High School Senior, Blake Douglas, who submitted a year book photograph of himself holding a gun - symbolizing his love of trapshooting. When the picture was prohibited, Douglas argued that his right to personal freedom had been breached. The judge asserted his right to rule against him.

I can understand disallowing the negative imagery of a gun. After all, it is to be hoped that gun toting does not reflect the reality of high school life. But. other than for sufferers of hay fever, I fail to see the negativity in brandishing a flower - symbolism that was adopted by a whole generation to represent love and peace, man.

It is also interesting to note that Ms Morin and her flower can gain entry to the year book if she purchases advertising space on the back page. Mr Johnson, it seems, does not understand the language of flowers, although he does seem to speak fluent money.

Nashua Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:08 AM | Permalink

Have the British hoodie-phobics taken things too far by asking a four-year old to expose her face for the benefit of the CCTV cameras?

Tiny Karen Lewis was happily feeding 2 pence pieces (equivalent to 4 cents) into a slot machine when she was asked by a young male employee to take down the hood on her purple cardigan. On challenging this edict, the four-year-old's mother was told, "It's policy, they don't allow any hoodies in there."

When questioned, the manager said:

"If anything happened, I don't really want to see a hoodie with a hoodie. I want to see and be able to recognize him."

I suppose you can't be too careful nowadays.

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 06:38 AM | Permalink

To my mind, chewing tobacco is pretty unsavory but, when folk start to chew meat with their tobacco, well, I just can't swallow that at all. However, Bryson Pillars of Mississippi did just that. The fact that the flesh was human makes the whole story even more indigestible.

I must be honest here and explain that Pillars didn't intentionally add meat to his vegetarian vice, it was just sort of there. Unfortunately, he didn't know it was there until his teeth came into contact with something rather more solid than tobacco, by which time he was foaming at the mouth. On further examination, playing hide and seek within his tobacco he found a human toe, with flesh and nail intact. And as if that wasn't enough, the toe was in a state of putrefaction! I thought the diagnosis of ptomaine poisoning was particularly apt.

Amazingly, when Pillars took the tobacco company to court he lost, because, "generally speaking, the rule is that the manufacturer is not liable to the ultimate consumer for damages resulting from the defects and impurities of the manufactured article."

Happily, the upstanding Pillars of the community won on appeal, the Mississippi Supreme Court unable to imagine any reason why, "with ordinary care human toes could not be left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it seems to us that somebody has been very careless."

The suppliers obviously didn't have a leg to stand on.

Pillars v. R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. et al., 78 So. 365 (Ms. 1918)
LegalJuice

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 03:25 PM | Permalink

Hunan huggers who enjoyed a cuddle by the Jinshi river in Hunan, Central China, were fined for their public display of affection. Apparently, their squeeze failed to please the three plain-clothed policemen who separated them, questioned them, and then took them to the police station. The couple were made to pay the $660 fine before release.

The following internet frenzy forced officials to look at the case and, striking a blow for all Hunan Huggers, the policemen were punished and the fine was returned to the couple.

The path of true love ne'er did run smooth

Pakistan Daily Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:26 AM | Permalink

Several Louisiana cities have plans to ban bare behinds. Those young folk who are stuck in the flaunted fanny groove may well find themselves out of pocket as well as out of their droopy drawers. Although some degree of sag will be tolerated, anybody baring more than 3 inches of butt or parading their pants can expect to pay up to $200 in fines and be required to do community service. One wonders if law enforcers will be equipped with especially developed measuring equipment. And surely just pulling up the disagreeable drawers will be a service to the community.

In Atlanta, baggy baggies are apparently seen as a measure of emotional health - the lower the pants, the lower the self esteem. Gives a fresh meaning to the old edict of 'pull your pants up.'

CNN

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 07:25 AM | Permalink

Peter Akers, 6, was recently mailed a letter by police asking that he confess being a career criminal. Akers was asked to admit any unsolved crimes so that he could have a "fresh start" and he also was offered treatment for drug addiction. Police say the letter was sent by mistake.

Confess, you're a 'career criminal', police tell boy aged six

Continue reading "Police Tell Six-Year-Old Boy to Confess He's a Career Criminal" »

Posted by Patricia Bowling at 09:29 PM | Permalink